


Breaking the Silence

by LuxDomina



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Slow Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-05-15 14:39:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14792397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuxDomina/pseuds/LuxDomina
Summary: Ever since she joined the SAS, Sgt. Ada "Phantom" Dimakos, a quiet and withdrawn sniper, had only one goal and desire; join the Task Force 141. Led by ambition and determination, she succeeded, and became a member in 2013. Her time with them changed her, she learned how to be a true friend and comrade, but a fall from grace and loss made her the very thing she fought against.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first fic, so I apologize for any grammatical errors and English is my second language as well! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

**Chapter 1 - Primadonna Squad**

February...what an appalling name for an even worse month! The weather was horrible and never seemed to be able to make up its mind. Considering the fact that was February in England, it was even worse. The only good thing about the month was a day less, or two if it was a leap year. Much to her dismay, it was not, meaning she had to endure another day of the already terrible February.

She leaned against the wall of the hangar and stared into the cloudy sky. She ignored the buzzing of her fellow soldiers and helicopters taking off. She would not see much action that day, since it was a 'special' day when the '141' would grace the S.A.S. with their presence. Well, not the entire 141, only their esteemed General and the two Captains. That was what she had been waiting for and exactly where she wanted to be. The Sergeant lowered her head, hiding her face behind her curly hair and smiled at the thought of being a part of the Task Force.  
Would it be a dream come true? Most certainly, considering the fact she missed her chance the last time, and it was 'he' who got in. She did not hate 'him', but was well aware of his reputation and how people thought of him to be a legend. Her smiled dropped and she sneered just by thinking of 'him'. Even if she got in, she would have to at least tolerate him.

Having never actually met him, she felt it was wrong to judge him, but that did not stop her from holding a certain level of dislike and hostility towards him. Phantom considered that ironic, as she had never wanted to judge anyone before meeting them, but the green eyed monster prevailed. She had to tone down some things about herself, and yet she still remained pretty much the same. Her train of thought was broken by her friend and teammate, Ox.

The tall and large man approached Phantom and greeted her with a rather loud 'hey'. Being deep in thought, she was a little bit annoyed by his presence, even though they were friends. Phantom slowly rose her head to look at him, pushing her brown curly hair behind her ears as much as she could. She anticipated his next move, and he simply leaned against the wall next to her, crossing his arms. Ox gave his teammate a sly smile, which she thought had something to do with the Task Force coming to Hereford. Of course, he would tease her lightly about it. Despite his appearance, he was known for being a talkative, open jokester, a complete opposite of her. As a soldier, he was loyal and determined, traits he shared with her and with most of them as well.

"Soooo," he began, stretching that one simple word suggestively. He tilted his head slightly and watched her lips give out the smallest smile. She raised her eyebrows, inquiring him to continue.

"Today's the big day, huh?"

He finally said it, and she only shook her head in amusement. She just knew he would go with that. It was not like he wasn't predictable, but it was also because the entire regiment seemed to be talking about it. He was bound to ask anyway.  
She nodded and they both looked into the distance. To her, it felt like Judgement Day, or that famous Shakespeare quote 'to be or not to be'. No matter how much she hated classic literature (or literature in general) she somehow 'connected' with the quote. It all fell down to just that, she would either get in, or she wouldn't. Her mind told her to stay calm and do her best, but her heart raced and pumped her entire being with hope. Her ambitious nature gave her no peace and she would give her all and even more. Phantom was determined and Ox knew it. She looked at him, inclining her head and softening her expression. Gazing into him, she waited for his response to her silent question, even though they both knew the answer.  
He looked at her and chuckled softly.

"You know I'm not interested in them."

He told her and looked back into the distance. She let out a barely audible 'huh' and went back into her thoughts. She wondered what time it was so she could prepare herself even more. She also wondered how they looked like, as she had never seen either General Shepherd or the elusive other Captain, whose name or codename she did not know. A man, to her, clouded in mystery. Maybe she heard his name before, but she had since forgotten it. Shepherd is rather iconic and easy to remember, but him? She did not know. Phantom once heard he used to be in S.A.S. as well, but under Captain Price. If they were both coming, she wondered if her shot of getting into the Task Force was slimming. Maybe they don't even want a woman in their unit? Whatever the case was, she would show them her skills and let them assess if she was even needed, but she hoped she was.

Seeing she was lost again, Ox nudged her slightly with his elbow. She once again broke from her thoughts and looked at him curiously. What did he want? Her head was pushed forward, her lips slightly pressed and she raised her eyebrows a little bit, indicating her interest.  
He noticed it and Phantom still waited for him to say something.

"You alright?"

Ox asked and she nodded, but he wasn't convinced. Nevertheless, he didn't press her any further. He told her to get ready, as the '141' was coming soon. She straightened her back and stepped away from the hangar wall. When Ox looked away, Phantom quietly walked away into the hangar, intending on practicing her speed, and later her accuracy outside in the field. Ox, not noticing she had already gone to the hangar, looked around himself. He shook his head, realizing who he was just talking to and decided to go inside and watch her.  
Luck was not on her side at that moment, because her Captain yelled for them to gather up, leaving her no time to see where she was standing in terms of speed. She cursed in her mind and looked behind, seeing Ox. He stood next to her as the rest of the team was rounding up. Their Captain, a formidable and respected man, stood tall in front of his soldiers.

"Alright, listen up!"

He called out and the soldiers stood patiently in line, their arms clung onto the sides of their bodies. waiting for the man to continue. He briefly looked each into the eye before continuing.

"As you might have heard, Task Force 141's leaders are coming here to assess your skills and take new members. Hopefully."

The Captain spoke loudly, but said the last word very quietly, almost in a whisper. He did indeed hope the 'One-four-one' would take new members as he would feel extremely proud. Phantom once thought to herself her Captain was a strict, respected but very father-like man. She was not particularly tied to him, or any other member of her team. She was, to put it mildly, disliked by anyone who wasn't Ox. She knew why, and didn't care as she never paid attention to people who hated her, be them her teammates or not. She got the job done, protected them if need be and got their back and to her that was enough.

"I want all of you to give your best and show them how it's done, alright?"

He told them, or more accurate, commanded them. They all replied in unison;

"Yes, sir!"

The Captain nodded in satisfaction, gave them a slight smile and muttered the word "good" to himself. They better make him proud, especially Vulture who seemed to have the most potential. After him, Ox and perhaps even Phantom. The Captain was almost sure at least one of them would get in. Vulture was the 'golden boy' of the team, always sucking up to the Captain and sticking by him. He held the record of the fastest runner and was very strong as well, but not as strong as Ox, who was like a living brick wall. Phantom was their best sharpshooter and the Captain hated to admit it, but even she managed to best Vulture. He shivered at the thought of her. Without doubt, she was a good soldier, but as a person, not so much. A troublemaker? No. Unreliable? No. She was exactly what they called her, a phantom, a disappearing person. Once done with the task, she was gone.

Not even her Captain was her biggest fan, but at least she got the job done and took care of her comrades. He still thought Vulture and Ox were the best.

Suddenly, another S.A.S. soldier burst into the hangar, informing the team and its Captain of the Task Force's arrival. The Captain instructed his team to stay inside and hurried outside to greet the leaders as the anonymous S.A.S. operator took his leave.

The two spotted a landed chopper, and three men exiting. First came out General Shepherd, the general of the US Army. Despite his age, he was one hell of a soldier and the Captain felt honored to be able to meet him. His reputation certainely preceded him. After him, Captain MacTavish, one of the men who was under Price in S.A.S. He was truly a great warrior as well, and finally Captain Price. Price and he go way back.  
The three men approached the S.A.S. Captain.

"Captain Williams," Price began, with a small smile on his face, "It's been a long time."

He extended his hand and Williams shook it firmly.

"Yes, very long."

Captain Williams responded, and proceeded to shake hands with General Shepherd and then Captain MacTavish.

"So, where's the team?"

The Scottish Captain asked, and Williams pointed to the nearby hangar, telling him they were already in line and waiting. MacTavish chuckled to himself, remembering the time he was fresh out of selection and was tested by Price. The tables how turned, and now he was the one testing others. Or had been for the past two years. Never enough good soldiers, he thought to himself as they were walking to the hangar. The four men entered the large hangar and stood in front of the S.A.S. operatives. Price crossed his arms and looked at Williams' muppets. They were all tall individuals, but one stuck out. One seemingly larger than the rest.

"You will be tested by General Shepherd and the Captains Price and MacTavish. Make me proud!"

Captain Williams told his team, went to fetched a notepad from the table with a list on it and handed it to Captain MacTavish who was going to do a roll call. He took the list and thanked the older Captain. On his right, stood Price, and on his left Shepherd, while Williams moved back to the table. He inspected the list briefly, and then began reading from it.

"Lieutenant Jack Adams?"

He called out and was greeted by "here, sir" coming from the man from the far right, near the entrance to the hangar. It was none other than Vulture himself.

"It says here you've specialized in demolition...and you're the fastest one on the list."

MacTavish spoke, and Vulture was obviously proud of his accomplishments. Phantom had to contain herself from not huffing and rolling her eyes. Vulture was a rather vain person, taking extreme pride in what he had done. He liked to brag about it, but nobody seemed to take him seriously because of that, or even hate him. Phantom's pride and vanity did get the best of her at times, but nowhere near it did with Vulture. Another reason why she disliked him.

"You got a codename?"

"Yes, sir. It's Vulture, sir."

The two exchanged and MacTavish nodded. He moved on to read from the list.

"Sergeant Ada Dimakos?"

He called out, and much to her surprise, he didn't butcher her surname. She responded with "here, sir" just as Vulture did.

"You're the sniper of the team?"

He asked her, even if it was obvious since it said on the paper. She was one, just he like he was.

"Yes, sir."

"Your codename?"

"Phantom, sir."

The two spoke and MacTavish was slightly surprised at her codename. Phantom? That was very similar to Ghost, if not the same. He found it ironic. Nevertheless, he moved one, calling out the next on the list, who was Sergeant Alexander Taylor, the one known as Ox. He was the combat medic of the team. Despite Ox not caring about the Task Force 141, Phantom felt he was more needed than her, he was a medic after all, and she just a sniper. But if he got in, and not her, then so be it. She would probably get jealous, but for the sake of her only friend, wouldn't show it. Not like she showed anything else but complete neutrality towards anyone.

And when the two others were called and briefly 'interrogated' by the mohawk sporting Captain, the testing began and she was once again filled with determination. First, they ran the obstacle course, under the judging eyes of the two Captains and the General, none of them speaking much besides Price muttering a thing or two, being his usual self. MacTavish was the one encouraging them and instructing them, while Shepherd remained completely silent and stoic.  
Phantom gave it her best shot, but was still behind Vulture, even if she had improved her previous time. She cursed mentally, calling Vulture a malaka, while not having any real reason to other than jealousy. Despite that, she still had one more test, the one she knew she'd do better than Vulture.

The team went out in the field, and Phantom was the first to go. She was given a bolt-action sniper rifle, Intervention. MacTavish first told her to shoot the targets as fast as she could, and she nodded, holding the rifle close and steadying her breath. She listened to her own heartbeat, peeked through the scope with her right eye, while her left eye remained open. She waited for MacTavish to signal her, and when he did, she opened fire on the red and white circular targets scattered on the field. There was no wind, the visibility was good, it wasn't very cold and she was rather close to the targets, so everything was going to go well.  
When she was done, she looked at the Scottish Captain, waiting for his next order.

"Very good, Dimakos," he praised her, something which he never got a lot during his time in S.A.S. or during the selection process, "Now, I want you to shoot them as they appear."

He instructed and she got back into her position. Ready, aim, fire away!

The targets fell as she hit them, she considered this task to be rather easy. Then, he told her to shoot them as they moved. She nodded in affirmation and did as told. She knocked them down with precision and proved she was the best sniper they had, once more filling her with pride. When she was done, she smiled smugly at herself, then dropped the smile as she turned to MacTavish, who nodded approvingly. She wasn't the best, but she was good, and he saw the ambition and fire written on her face, as well as determination, and it reminded him of himself. The last time he saw that, was when he met Roach. Impressive sniper, he thought, but she wasn't as good as him. At least, not yet.  
He tested the rest of them, but his mind was already set. He spoke with Price and Shepherd who seemed to agree with him. Two of them were coming, but the third one was debatable. Despite MacTavish's intentions, the third one was dropped, which somewhat saddened him, but he went with it. Even Price wanted to argue with Shepherd, but he didn't want to spark something, especially not a fight. It could be said dropping the third was mainly Shepherd's choice. The soldiers returned to the hangar to hear their results and who would get in the Task Force 141.

The five soldiers stood in line, MacTavish was in the middle, between Price and Shepherd, and they were joined by Williams. The men looked at the soldiers, before Shepherd decided to break the ice and just say what was on their mind. They were eager to know who made it in. Phantom was curious and hoped he would say her name.

"Sergeant Taylor," Shepherd said, sighing deeply and looked at the tall man whose nickname was Ox. He was standing next to Phantom.  
"I am sorry, but we had a decision of not choosing you. You were a strong contestant, but we decided we did not need a combat medic after all."

Shepherd spoke in a monotone voice. If Ox had been a different man, he would have been disappointed and sad, but he had never cared for the elite 'One-four-one'. He said nothing, only gave a curt nod. It was not a mutual decision, Price thought to himself, but yet again, said nothing. He only continued to watch with crossed arms.

"Lieutenant Adams and Sergeant Dimakos."

He called out the two, and instructed them to step out. They did as they were told and waited. Shepherd looked at them both and absentmindedly nodded.

"Welcome to the Task Force 141."

The General spoke and Phantom's heart skipped a beat. She felt like clenching her fists and shooting them up in happiness. She finally did it, she achieved what she set out to do. Her dream came true, and she couldn't believe it. It seemed as if she really was still dreaming, but she wasn't. Part of her believed she'd make it, and she relied on it. The bad part was, Vulture got in too, and needless to say, they weren't really friendly. But then again, she wasn't really friendly with anyone. Price saw a spark in her eye, and it seemed to him it ignited and burst into flames.

They both had every right to cheer, but they remained as stoic and calm as ever, even when each of the leaders approached them and congratulated them. The last was their own Captain, who also told them to keep up with the good work.

"Be ready tomorrow morning at 8:00. We'll be here to pick you up."

Price told them, and with that, they were off. When they finally flew up in the sky in their chopper, Phantom smiled widely to herself and shook her head, still not believing. Ox approached her and congratulated her as well. That day was to be remembered.

It looked like February would actually become her favorite month.

 


	2. The FNGs

**Chapter 2 - The FNGs**

Phantom was restless the entire night. She tossed and turned, attempting very hard to sleep, but couldn't. Only one thing kept its iron grip on her mind, making it impossible to shut her eyes, even for a short while. She kept thinking about the coming morning, the morning when she and Vulture would leave for the Task Force 141, picked up by a chopper. Incredible, she thought. No other word could describe her feelings, or any word at all.

Before she knew it, it was already 5:00 am, and she had to get up. They usually get up earlier, but their Captain gave them an hour of extra sleep, even though that was not allowed. That was his reward for his team, who made him proud the other day. He kept a small smile the entire time they were being tested. Perhaps he got too attached to his team, but he didn't mind. He considered them family, as he had none of his own.

Phantom rose slowly, stretching her back and yawning. She rubbed her eyes and then ran a hand through her thick, curly hair. Making a mental note to not forget her bandana, she walked slowly to take a shower. When she was done, and felt a bit more awake, she changed her clothes and tied her hair in a high ponytail. Then she took her black bandana, folded it into a headband, placed it on her hairline and tied it under her ponytail. Ox sometimes called her Rambo for it, she asked him why he called her such one time, and he absolutely lost it when he heard she had never seen any Rambo movie. She didn't like action movies, but never cleared that up for Ox, she only shrugged and glossed over the topic.

Ox would chuckle and shook his head, each time remembering who he spoke to. The most unsocialized human being he had ever met, but he still liked her and considered her a friend.

Phantom met up with her team in breakfast at 6:00 and as per usual sat down next to Ox. She locked eyes with Vulture, and they shared an unspoken deal of continuing to act towards each other as they had, even if they are not placed under the same direct command. Vulture's eyes betrayed a sign of relief that it was she who was chosen and not Ox, the only man Vulture seemed to be afraid of. He could handle Phantom's stupid nature, mainly because she was never seen or heard. Nevertheless, he considered her a threat. And she felt the same.  
So much hostility in two people. How was that even possible? Neither of them knew, they could only guess. Maybe they were afraid of each other's ambition, desire to rise up and prove they are the best. Unbeknownst to Vulture, or anyone else, but Phantom had another reason why she wanted to rise up so badly. She wanted it, but there was something hidden, something she could never say, not even to Ox.

All of that didn't matter anymore, as both Vulture and Phantom got into the Task Force, and their clash of personalities would only be a small thing bound to be forgotten. Phantom silently hoped he would get into another team so she didn't need to see him. But if they were stuck on the same team, she'd just continue treating him the way she did. He was on no big importance to her, but she'd keep him safe in the field. That was her big contradiction, and that was the life of a soldier. No matter how much you don't stand anyone, you protect them and watch their back.

Patience was her greatest virtue, and if she didn't have it, she wouldn't be a sniper.

The chatter of her fellow teammates somehow died down in her mind, and she once again traveled to the other day and how she heard General Shepherd welcoming her into the 'One-four-one'. She suppressed a smile at the thought, not wanting to be seen by her comrades. They would immediately know why she was smiling. Truth be told, no matter how much they disliked her, they were happy for her and even for Vulture. Two of theirs, in the what was called the best warriors in the world? To them it was absolutely amazing. A bit of jealousy here and there, but that was only natural.

After all, it all boiled down to who was the strongest, fastest and most precise.

When the breakfast was over, Phantom briefly returned to her bunk to check if she had taken everything. As forgetful as she was, at least she stopped to see if everything was where it had to be. She suddenly remembered she hadn't smoked in a very long time, and wondered if she should get cigarettes. The sniper rarely smoked, but she still didn't make up her mind whether she should quit or not.  
She checked the clock, and it said 7:20. She was surprised it was already that time. Exiting the building, she encountered Ox walking towards the field with the targets. She figured he was probably going to do some target practice and she decided to follow him. Phantom stood a few meters away from, and he didn't seem to notice her. He held a M1911 pistol and opened fire on the targets. Crossing her arms, she watched her comrade under her eye. After a few moments, he seemed to have felt somebody watching him, and he turned around.

"So you're all set?"

He asked nonchalantly, and she nodded slowly. Ox didn't seem very pleased or in a good mood, but she didn't ask or press him to tell her. Usually, when he felt bad, she'd sit next to him and listen to him pour out his troubles. It was different now, and she couldn't help him.

"They'll be here soon."

He spoke again as he reloaded and focused his attention on the targets. She uncrossed her arms, rose her head slightly and watched as the targets fell down. Ox gave up on the target practice a bit later and then leaned against the hangar wall as did Phantom. The two stood in silence, gazing into the sky. They ignored Vulture's unnecessary comments as he passed by.

Time passed pretty quickly, and her Captain appeared, telling her to get her things. She left Ox to his own devices, and picked up her duffel bag. Task Force 141's chopper appeared in the sky and Phantom watched it land as she walked towards it, with Vulture close to her. The two walked behind Captain Williams. Vulture might have said something, but she had long since shut herself from him. His words meant nothing to her.

The door slid open, revealing Captain MacTavish. He jumped out of the chopper to greet his new recruits. Phantom looked inside the chopper to see if anyone else would pop up, but he seemed to be alone. Captain Williams noticed that as well, and asked MacTavish about it. He only replied Shepherd went back to the USA and Price was busy in their base. Williams was slightly disappointed but didn't show it.  
MacTavish once again shook hands with both Vulture and Phantom and instructed them to board the chopper. Before they did that, they saluted their old Captain who wished them good luck. The two boarded the steel bird and saw three other people inside. They didn't recognize them, and they must have been new recruits as well. Phantom noticed she was the only woman, but she didn't mind.

A few moments later, Captain MacTavish entered the helicopter and slid the door close. The chopper took off and flew away. He sat opposite of her and Vulture, and she briefly inspected his face, as she hadn't paid much attention to it the other day. He had black hair fashioned into a mohawk, blue eyes and a stubble. If he hadn't been her new Captain, she might have called him handsome.

MacTavish noticed her looking at him, and she looked to her right at the other FNGs. When she turned her head, he noticed a large scar on her left cheek, but didn't ask her about it, since it felt wrong. She inspected the faces of the FNGs and noticed their determined expressions. One of them fiddled with his fingers.

Outside, Captain Williams watched the helicopter flying away.

A few hours later, most of them spent in silence, the helicopter finally reached Task Force's base. Among the onlookers were the two men under Captain MacTavish's direct command, the elusive Ghost and the rather chatty Roach. The two were pretty close friends, and did enjoy talking to each other, but sometimes Ghost wasn't up for socializing. That small things bothered Roach at times, who wanted nothing more than to have fun when they were on a leave. He'd tease Ghost about never hanging out when he called him to, but would eventually stop and let him do whatever he desired.

"The Captain's coming back."

Roach commented, running a hand through his fluffy blonde hair. The two watched the heli slowly approach the helipad to land. The two wondered what kind of people they would have to deal with, but they knew the leaders made good choices.

"I sure hope we'll get somebody not as socially awkward as you, Ghost."

Roach once again teased him, and as usual, Ghost didn't take it to heart. He was aware of his situation, but no matter how much he tried to improve it, he just couldn't. Ghost chuckled at his friend's comment. The blonde man was usually very talkative, but during missions completely silent.

"Or maybe somebody less chatty than you."

He struck back at Roach and the latter pretended to be hurt. They smiled briefly as they saw the heli finally landing and its rotor blades coming to a halt. Ghost slightly adjusted his sunglasses which rested on his ski mask, while Roach crossed his arms. The helicopter door opened and their Captain emerged from it. He signaled with his arm for the three men to exit. One by one they got out and MacTavish instructed them to stand in line in front of the helipad. The trio walked down the steps and did as they were told.

Next came Vulture and then Phantom. They also got in line as the Captain told them, but the sight of Phantom surprised Ghost. A woman? Interesting.

"Roach, look."

He told his friend and pointed with his head. Roach already knew what he was getting at. He saw nothing wrong with a woman being a part of the team. He shrugged.

"Yeah, a woman. So?"

Roach asked, sounding rather annoyed. He never expected a vaguely sexist thought from his comrade and friend. Ghost looked Roach and was about to say something, but the latter cut him off, waving his hand.

"Save it, Ghost, I know what you want to say. The Captain knows what he's doing and don't give him any of that bollocks, alright?"

Roach told Ghost, who had to agree with him. They were both concerned with what the rest of the 'One-Four-One' would say, but at the end of the day, did that really matter? If she got in, that meant she was good. They watched as their Captain assigned the FNGs. Phantom and another man were chosen to be with MacTavish, and Vulture and the rest were with someone else. The Task Force has many operators, and MacTavish can't manage all of them alone, neither can Price.

Their Captain, Phantom and the anonymous man introduced themselves to Roach and Ghost.

"Ghost, Roach, these are the new members under my direct command," MacTavish began, "Phantom" he gestured to her and she gave the two men a curt nod "And Crane" he said and gestured to one standing next to Phantom.

After that, MacTavish left to the three oversee the situation with the three men who he had just assigned to.

"Hey there, Sergeant Gary Sanderson."

Roach introduced himself to the two and shook their hands. Phantom couldn't believe she had to be on the same team as 'him'. She gave 'him' a cold look right into his ridiculous sunglasses. Ghost noticed the look she gave him, but said nothing. He knew then and there, she would be trouble. Every fiber in Phantom's being shook and she wanted to point her finger at Ghost, but stopped herself from doing anything bad. He was her new teammate and she had to behave, as she had told herself in the past. Then Ghost introduced himself to the two.

"Nice to meet you."

Crane spoke, while Phantom remained silent and looked at Roach. Her expression softened. She made one hell of a first impression, but as always didn't care what they thought of her. Roach was confused as to why she was behaving so strange, but decided not to ask.

This was either going to go very well, or very terrible.

 


	3. Novelty

**Chapter 3 - Novelty**

The rest of the day went by pretty much as she imagined it would. A few strange glances and stares, a couple of rude comments, very few nice ones and of course, she avoided Ghost as much as she could. She liked Roach, even if he really was a chatterbox. She, as per usual, hadn't talked much to anyone, not really caring to initiate communication. Nevertheless, she was finally in the 'One-Four-One' and that was what really mattered. She and the rest of the FNGs were give a 'tour' of the base by Captain MacTavish and they briefly saw Captain Price, who gave each of them a curt nod, barely even acknowledging them.

The Scotsman showed them all the places they needed to know, when and where certain things took place. When they reached what appeared to be the Captain's office, he told them he'd go through some paperwork quickly to see if their personal information is accurate. He spoke to two men before he got to Phantom. He checked her personal information.

"Your full name is Ada Elena Dimakos, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"You were born on June 15th 1986 in London?

"Yes."

"Blood type is O-positive, weight is 71 kg and height is 181 cm?"

"Correct, sir."

"Your residence was London up until joining the Army?"

"Yes."

"Your father's name was Nikolaos and your mother is called Elizabeth. You joined the army at the age of 18, and later you were accepted into the S.A.S. You also have an older sister, who is a soldier."

"Yes, sir."

"That's all, thank you."

The two exchanged and he moved on with the list. After that, they continued the 'tour'.

She welcomed the rather short walk through it, even if it wasn't all that good, mainly due to the comments. The Captain seemed kind to them, as he knew the feeling of being the new guy, and even harassed at times. He never talked down to his soldiers, seeing as there isn't any use in that, but did have certain rules and wanted discipline. Phantom understood all of that. Seeing as she was the only woman, MacTavish warned her she wouldn't have sleep in separate barracks as that usually is, and she didn't mind, informing him of that. He nodded and said "good".

At the end of the day, Captain MacTavish informed them of a mission taking place in two days. He suggested to them to prepare and also said he would discuss plans the next day.

Phantom made her way to her bunk as it was almost 9:00pm, meaning bedtime. Roach politely told her goodnight and in return, she nodded at him. She wasn't sure if he appreciated her or not, but once again, it didn't really matter. Luckily for her, Ghost was nowhere to be seen, and she was grateful for it. She collapsed on her bed, placed her hands under her head and stared into the ceiling, recapping the what happened earlier today. Despite being in a new and unknown environment, she knew she'd get used to it. She began thinking about her former teammates, and how she won't even see them anymore.

Truth be told, she wouldn't exactly miss them, maybe she would her old Captain. She smiled slightly at the thought of him, he was such a good man, despite him not being particularly fond of her. But then again, who besides Ox, was? She wouldn't exactly call him a father she never had, but would have appreciated to have him as her father instead the one she had. Her smile dropped, and she tried hard to get her father out of her mind.

She thought about Ox and their bittersweet parting. Or more accurate, their sour parting. They barely said anything to each other when she was leaving and she didn't even look at him properly. She just wanted to leave, not thinking what kind of impact it had on him. He would be fine, she thought, he was a great soldier after all. Then, she wondered who would come in her and Vulture's place. She hoped it was somebody better than both of them, and somebody who would actually be a good friend to Ox. She made a lot of mistakes, and not talking much to Ox seemed as one of them to her, even if she was there to listen to him when he needed to.

To him, she seemed unburdened, and maybe that was how he explained her silence. Maybe she just didn't have any troubles? That was not true, but it was perhaps what Ox thought. Maybe he was content with her just being there and listening? Whatever it was, she couldn't change it anymore and she would never even find out.

A few moments later, a loud voice informed of the "lights out" and in that moment, complete darkness swallowed the barracks. Phantom removed the hairband and the bandana, setting them besides her, and drifted off into sleep.

The cloudy morning came, and the soldiers went on with their usual morning routine. Phantom tied her hair again and placed her black bandana and got up. When the routine was done, Captain MacTavish's voice was heard telling his team to gather up so he could tell them of the change of plans. It looked like they wouldn't have any time to prepare themselves for tomorrow's operation, whatever it was.  
His team walked into a room with a bunch of chairs facing an empty and rather small whiteboard. A large TV screen was mounted onto the wall next to the whiteboard. The team sat down and were joined soon after by the other team. Phantom wanted to sit next to Roach, but changed her mind when she saw Ghost was next to him. She sat next to Crane and briefly scanned the room for Vulture, who sat at the far end. The two glared at each other before she focused her attention to the whiteboard.

_'What's her problem?'_

Roach thought to himself, but focused once MacTavish and Price hurried into the room. The Scottish Captain stood in front of the whiteboard and grabbed a black marker as Price stood next to the TV screen. The two looked at the soldiers awaiting orders. They were eager to know what was going on.

"We've got a change of plans."

MacTavish stated, opening the black marker. Despite hurrying into the room, he seemed calm and collected. He probably always rushed, Phantom thought to himself. Price looked at his protege.

"The operation scheduled for tomorrow is still happening, but we've received word of hostage situation in a building in Spain. We've had this type of mission before, but let's hope it doesn't happen again."

MacTavish spoke, looking at his soldiers. Ghost suddenly remembered that time in Ukraine with the hostage rescue, and the first time he met Shepherd. It didn't seem that too long ago. His attention shifted back to Captain MacTavish.

"We need to do this as fast as possible, which means we won't have any time to prepare more for tomorrow. So here's the plan for today and for tomorrow."

The Captain spoke and began drawing on the whiteboard. His drawing skills were pretty good, it didn't seem very sloppy or unprofessional. Phantom wondered if he actually drew in his spare time.

_'Artistic Captain? This just keeps getting better and better.'_

The sniper thought to herself and began listening to him attentively. He explained thoroughly the course of action, the plan execution and who's coming or and who isn't. It appeared she was coming to the hostage rescue to provide overwatch. He then moved on with explaining the thing she only knew as "tomorrow's operation" which appeared to be a prelude to something bigger. A bigger operation, perhaps. She wasn't chosen for tomorrow and she understood that. There were at least 80 soldiers in the Task Force and she won't get to see all the missions.

Her first mission with the 'One-Four-One' was a hostage rescue. It seemed good enough for her. MacTavish finished explaining the plans to the soldiers and instructed them to collect their gear and get to the armory as they were leaving in an less than an hour.  
Phantom hurried to pick up her standard Task Force 141 sniper uniform without the ghillie suit, and took the scoped M14 EBR with a silencer, and a handgun. When she was ready, she approached Roach and stood next to him in silence, waiting for the beginning.

"Hey Rambo," Roach spoke to her, teasing her for the black bandana on her head. He pointed to her sniper rifle "I hope you're good with that."

He said with a small smile. Phantom returned it and said;

"The best."

And with that, the team was off.

 


	4. Stranger in a Strange Land

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I've made some changes to the last chapter. The crew will have to deal with hostages in Spain not an hijacked aircraft as it previously said. I realized there's already the Mile High Club mission which I didn't want to include yet, but will appear in a later chapter. That's all, please enjoy! Reviews are greatly appreciated and encouraged.

**Chapter 4 - Stranger in a Strange Land**

As both teams boarded their respective choppers, Captains MacTavish and Price received last minute intel. They were both mildly aggravated at the timing of the information, but nonetheless welcomed it as it was much needed. It looked like their hostage situation in Spain wasn't just a regular rescue mission. One man appeared to be their VIP whose safety was their top priority and they had to bring him back to 141's base. They were also told the man was a fleeing Russian, who used to be a member of the Ultranationalist Party but had since moved to join the Loyalists. Although he managed to switch rather painlessly, his luck ran out as soon as the Ultranationalists got their hands on him, forcing him to escape the country altogether.

"So that's how our man got himself in Spain."

MacTavish commented on the info as they were walking to the choppers. He couldn't help but wonder why he chose Spain of all the countries. Maybe he was fluent in Spanish? The Scotsman decided not to ask at all. Price nodded.

"Yes, and now we have to bring him here. I hope he's worth it."

The older Captain told his protege. Both of them hoped they would get some more information on the Ultranationalists in Russia, especially the elusive Inner Circle, whose member is their primary target, Vladimir Makarov. Chasing him down and capturing him was the Task Force's goal. Price thought the Russian could make their operation easier. They've been planning it for quite some time, and every time its date kept moving. First it was July, then it was August, then September and now it was stuck on October. It would hopefully stay that way without further changes in date, but Price always kept internally blaming Shepherd for it. He was the perfectionist and the English Captain had never liked nor trusted him. For once, he prayed his intuition was wrong.

The two men reached the choppers, whose rotor blades were already whirring. Price reminded MacTavish to inform his team of the new intel and tell his sniper she'd be working with Toad, the sniper of Price's team, who will cover the east side and Phantom the west side. Then he proceeded to enter his helicopter, bidding the younger Captain good luck. MacTavish thanked him and wished him good luck as well.  
He got into the helicopter and slid the doors shut. He settled his ACR rifle down where he would be sitting and then decided to tell his team the news. He stood, holding onto a handle with one hand dangling from the top.

"We have received new information regarding our mission in Spain," he began as the helicopter took off, his team looked at him, waiting for him to continue, "it appears one of the hostages is an ex member of the Russian Ultranationalist Party. We've been told to secure the hostages and bring only him back to our base. He could have some valuable info which we could use for our impeding operation."

The team were told and briefly glanced at each other. The FNGs had no idea what the operation was, and they didn't seem to be very keen on asking either. They figured the mission didn't involve them, so less unnecessary questions, the better. Or maybe MacTavish just forgot to tell them? Whatever it was, it didn't really matter, as they should focus more on their current task.  
MacTavish then continued;

"We're gonna breach into the Metropolis building in Madrid and head to the third floor, where they are being held. We mustn't trigger any of their guards on our way there and we're gonna do this fast and efficient, alright?"

He finished and was met by his team saying "yes, sir" in unison. MacTavish then looked at the team's sniper.

"Phantom, you'll be working with Toad, he's a sniper from Price's team. You will provide overwatch overlooking the western side and he will be on the eastern side, warn us of any enemy movement as I've already told you. There's a building facing the western side of the Metropolis from which you'll be able to see us. And be prepared to take them out if need be."

He explained and Phantom nodded in understanding. After that, he picked up his ACR and sat down, settling it in his lap. Phantom locked eyes with Roach, who gave her a very small smile, which she didn't return. Her expression remained neutral and she then looked to the far end of the helicopter, at the pilot's cockpit. Roach wanted to shake his head, but decided to be the better person. She was getting really difficult to talk to, but then again, as long as she got their back, it didn't matter.

The ride, in all its entirety, was enveloped in complete silence, with occasional feet shuffle or somebody adjusting their weapon. Had Phantom been a different and more sociable person, she would have tried to talk to Roach, the only one who, other than MacTavish, seemed to be friendly to her. She knew all too well how it felt to be lonely, but it wasn't as if she didn't like it that way. Stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours was her policy and her biggest problem. She was a soldier, she held a code of honor which dictated her to take care of her teammates, which she did, but not in personal life, finding no real need to.

Her attention shifted to their destination. If she had been on a vacation, it would have been much better. She had never been to Madrid or Spain in general, her heart had always belonged only to Greece. She would have given anything to go back there.

_'Too bad we're not gonna see the sights...'_

Phantom thought to herself and was then brought back to reality by the pilot.

The helicopter pilot informed them they would land in less than five minutes, prompting MacTavish to tell his team to get ready. They would be landing on the edge of Madrid from where they would drive to the Metropolis building. Five minutes turned to three, then three to one, and then they finally arrived. All up and ready, MacTavish opened the door and jumped out of the hovering chopper, soon followed by his team. He looked at the other chopper and saw Price moving with his team.

Price and MacTavish met up and shortly discussed the plan of action one more time as they headed to the two armored vehicles waiting for them. They made brief introductions to the Spanish Special Forces operators. One of them clarified they called them because they knew Makarov and his men were their "specialty" and needed them to do the rest. Neither MacTavish or Price took the comment to heart, as it was true Makarov was their primary goal, but they didn't only do missions relating to him.

_'Looks like their view on us is a wee bit crooked.'_

MacTavish thought to himself and proceeded to his armored vehicle. They were also told by the Spanish that the whole section around the Metropolis building was locked down and all civilians have been cleared out. Both Captains were pleased to hear that, as they didn't want any of them to get hurt.

The two armored vehicles carrying the two Task Force 141, each driven by one Spanish Special Forces operator, rushed off. After another rather short drive, they got very close to the building. The two teams exited their armored vehicles. The two Captains met up again and Price told his sniper to go with Phantom and pointed to the tall woman carrying a scoped and silenced M14 EBR. Toad ran to Phantom.

"Phantom!"

He called out and she turned around to face him. Their orders were clear, head to the building overlooking the western side of the Metropolis building and provide cover from the window. Toad was to do the same, but from a building on the east side.  
The two stealthy snipers headed to the their respective buildings and situated themselves on the third floor. Opening the windows, they placed their snipers on the panes and peeked through the scope, looking for the enemy.

"Talk to me, Phantom."

Captain MacTavish spoke as the snipers scanned the area. Five blindfolded hostages tied to chairs and three tangos circling them, each holding AK-47s. Russians? Most likely. Phantom wanted to make a sarcastic comment about them carrying that specific type of weapon, but refrained.

"We've scoped out three tangos equipped with AK-47s. There are five hostages here all tied to chairs. They are blindfolded."

Phantom informed her Captain, but suddenly another person entered into the room.

"Wait..."

She spoke, trying to see who it was and if he was seemingly anyone important, but it appeared it was just another Russian, also with an AK.

"What is it?"

"Another tango entered the room also armed with an AK-47."

"Any more of them?"

"No, that's it."

"Alright, sit tight and don't take action until my signal."

"Yes, sir."

The Captain and the Sergeant exchanged. Both team Captains decided it was time to breach and they headed for the building. Price's team would sweep the east side, while MacTavish's the west side.

"Toad, you got something?"

Phantom asked her sniping mate located in the other building.

"Yes, I've already informed Captain Price. Five hostages and four tangos."

"Same here."

The two snipers exchanged, waiting further orders. As the teams swept each floor, they heard "floor clear" twice before moving up to the final one.

"Phantom and Toad get ready, we're breaching!"

Price told the two snipers who patiently waited for the signal.

"NOW!"

The Task Force 141 teams entered the rooms and the snipers opened fire on the tangos. Phantom saw Roach and MacTavish enter first and she took down the Russian at the far end of the room.

_'One down...'_

She thought to herself, as Roach and MacTavish killed two and wounded the third one. Phantom saw him squirm on the floor and put a bullet in his head.

_'That's two...'_

She thought, as if she was keeping some sort of a score. She watched as the rest of the team got inside, Ghost and Crane. They untied the hostages and removed their blindfolds, searching for the Russian man. Phantom wondered why didn't they just take the traitorous Russian back? Why did they go through the trouble of taking other hostages? They probably had another motive, and him being there was a coincidence. Or maybe it was all planned to go exactly like that but they didn't really count on the Task Force coming. Nevertheless, the mission was almost finished.

Captain MacTavish told through the radio he hadn't located the Russian man yet and asked Price if he had, to which he replied he did. Then, MacTavish congratulated his team on a job well done, before he left the room, he looked at Phantom still situated at the window. Toad informed Phantom he was moving away and that she should do the same. Price said they weren't done yet, as they still had to bring the man back to base.  
The man left with Price, so Phantom didn't hear any more of him then she already had known.

Rather quietly came March, the Russian man they had rescued a month ago, simply known as Alexei, had given them some intel on what the Ultranationalists really want and how they operate. According to him, they were a radical Party whose primary purpose was restoring the Russian Federation to how it used to be, back in the days of the Soviet Union. He also said he didn't work directly with Makarov or the Inner Circle, but had heard certain things which he shouldn't have, prompting him to leave the Ultranationalist and ultimately, Russia itself.  
He moved to Spain to escape from their wrath, which he knew would strike down on him. Something told Phantom there was more to him then it met the eye. He spoke more of that, but Phantom didn't care much anymore, since he would leave soon, but not back to Spain.  
Her train of thought was broken by Roach who set down his cup loudly on the table at which she was sitting. She stared him down, not appreciating the fact he just appeared like that. Ignoring her glare, he decided to question the enigma known as Phantom. She had been with them for a month, and yet almost nobody knew anything about her. She was withdrawn, preferred to keep to herself and avoided any contact she deemed unnecessary.

"How are you doing?"

The blonde man asked her taking a sip from his cup, now void of his balaclava and helmet he often wore to hide his face, just like Ghost with his ski mask. Even though she was taken aback by his sudden appearance, she figured he was just being friendly and nice, something she clearly wasn't or even tried to be. Why did he care? She didn't know and didn't bother to ask.

"Good."

She simply replied, pushing back her shoulder length curly hair behind her ears, now freely falling. If somebody asked you how you were doing, you were supposed to ask back, as it was common courtesy, something else which she seemed to lack. Roach noticed that, but didn't say anything about it, he just chuckled and offered her coffee, which she declined.

"Suit yourself, but it's bloody good!"

He said, gaining no more interest from Phantom. She continued to look blankly at him. He briefly looked at the scar on her left cheek which she didn't seem to hide at all. He wondered how she got it, but yet again, didn't ask.

"I was wondering where did you get that bandana of yours," he spoke, trying to sound as warm and friendly as possible, "it's really neat. I would like one."

Roach finished and actually got a reaction from her. She raised her eyebrows, slightly amused and surprised at his question.

"My sister gave it to me."

She answered rather bluntly, not explaining much by saying that. Was it a gift? Did she simply gave it to her without an ulterior motive? Was it for her birthday? Where did her sister get it? Roach was burning with questions.

"Oh, so for your birthday, I take it."

He remarked, taking another sip of his coffee. She shook her head.

"Umm, just like that? Not as a gift or anything?"

She shook her head again.

"So out of pure sisterly love?"

She nodded.

"That's nice! I wish I had a sibling."

He spoke, earning a tilt of her head and softening of her expression, indicating her curiosity but also indirectly telling him to continue.

"I'm an only child, which never really sat well with me. I always wanted a brother or a sister, and I found several of them here. They're nice, you should give them a chance."

Roach informed her, and she looked down at the table.

"I know you're not a huge fan of Ghost, but he's my best mate, and so is Captain MacTavish."

He told her, and her blood boiled at the sheer mention of Ghost's name, but she managed to contain any angry or discontent faces that might show on her.

"Listen, you're a good soldier and I'm pretty sure there's a good person hiding in you."

Roach spoke once more, but she still didn't lift her eyes up to look at him. He saw the conversation, if one could call it such, was going nowhere so he decided to question her about the tattoo on her upper left arm. One of a flaming orange, yellow and red phoenix with its wings spread.

"That tattoo...does it have any special meaning to you?"

He asked her, and she looked up at him in an instant. She glanced at the tattoo and nodded.

"Can you tell me?"

The blonde asked, leaning forward with his mouth slightly agape. Phantom gave him a weak smile.

"One day."

She told him, and he closed his mouth and nodded in satisfaction.

"One day...alright then."

Roach said and then left, feeling content he got her attention even for a short while. Just like Alexei was a stranger in Spain, she felt as if she was the one here. Phantom watched him leave and wondered if he was right about her being a good person.

 


	5. Problematic

**Chapter 5 - Problematic**

A few action packed weeks have passed since Roach and Phantom had their first decent "conversation", and March was coming to its end. Alexei had left, the weather was getting better, which made Phantom's mood slightly better, but her change in attitude was microscopic. Roach took note of that, and was glad to see her getting somewhat friendlier and warmer. At times, when he wouldn't sit with her for breakfast or talk to her, he'd see Captain MacTavish silently sitting with her, keeping her company. The Scotsman knew all too well what it meant to be alone, and even unappreciated. He was rarely talked to or even acknowledged, much less praised. He didn't mind Phantom's behavior at all, and didn't attempt to change her, seeing as there was really no point. She was good the way she was, but Roach thought he could lighten her up. Ghost didn't try to do anything in regards to Phantom, and Price kept watch, not being very fond of her either.

Phantom was once more at her usual spot, fiddling with the black bandana. She kept folding it and then opening it, and folding it again. She was bored, and her Captain saw her sitting alone. He found it funny how he and Roach seemingly took turns who'd be there with her, as if there were the only ones truly caring about her. Neither Roach nor MacTavish could blame anyone for staying away from her, but they were both warm and pleasant people, not liking when somebody was left to his or her own devices.

Approaching her, MacTavish asked if he could take a sit, as he always did. She simply nodded, giving him a small smile. A rarity, when it came to her. He had to admit, a smile looked good on her, but he would never say it, as he considered it wrong. He didn't know if she'd take it as flirting or friendly banter, and he didn't want to take any chances. In this case, he was just being friendly. She wasn't an ugly woman, not in the least, and if she hadn't been his Sergeant, he might have called her beautiful.

He watched her fold the bandana and tie it on her head. She usually wore it when her hair was in a ponytail, but now she just placed it like that. Phantom looked at her Captain, as if she was waiting for him to say something.

"I've never properly praised you for your work back in Spain," he began, his tone calm and voice deep, "I've never been praised much myself, but I try to tell at least once to the team about the job well done. It might not seem much to you, but, uh, I'm doing it the best I know."  
He finished and caused her to chuckle. She found it amusing how he cared so much about his team, and it was a nice feeling. It reminded her of her time in S.A.S. under Captain Williams. Even though she had left a month ago, it still felt like a long time ago. She briefly wondered how Ox was doing and if new soldiers came to replace her and Vulture.

"You think you're not very good with words."

She remarked and caught him off guard. MacTavish made a strange face, and realized she had read between the lines. It was true, he wasn't very good at words, but he was caught off guard mainly because he didn't think she'd comment on his small confession. He figured she'd just chuckle and gloss over it, mumbling something. She was still problematic, but progress was slowly being made.

He nodded slowly at her comment.

"I'm not either."

She spoke again and that was the most he had ever heard her speak, aside when they were on a mission when she had to. Maybe Roach was right after all, something was hiding her. He was curious to know more about her, and her scar, which he had noticed when he first met her. But just like back then, he didn't ask her, feeling it had a deeper meaning and maybe something traumatic tied to it. Or maybe she got it during a mission? He didn't know, and decided to ask her later, thinking the time wasn't right yet.

MacTavish looked to his right, catching Roach talking to Ghost and Price. What was the deal with her and Ghost? Roach had told him she didn't like him for some reason, but how could she when she barely knew him? The thought itself was ironic, since many other Task Force 141 members judged her just as she jumped from that chopper. Judging somebody before meeting them was stupid, but she did that, even though she considered it wrong. One of her many contradictions.

Roach waved at his Captain when he saw him and MacTavish waved back. Phantom looked at the direction her Captain was focused on, and saluted Roach as soon as she saw him. MacTavish's lips curved into a smile and he felt happy she was finally breaking out of her shell, no matter how slowly. An idea popped in his mind; asking her to have a mock sniping duel with him, to see who out of the two was a better shot, or who was more accurate and precise. That'd give them a chance to know more about each other, and she wouldn't remain such an enigma anymore. But MacTavish soon dropped the idea out of his brain. He realized it sounded dumb, but it could have been good.

The two looked back at each other and silence fell again. They sat like that for a while until he decided to speak again, dropping his smile:

"You've got a sister, right?"

"Cassandra, yes. Why?"

She nodded as she spoke, answering his pending question of her sister's name at the same time. She was glad he remembered the fact she had an 11 years older sister, who she dearly loved, even if their relationship had become slightly rocky. Both sisters were taught well by their parents, but some things fell apart after the "incident", leaving their mother to continue raising them and teaching them on her own. What their mother taught them, fit in quite well when they applied for military and its discipline. Bravery, determination, ambition, stand your ground and patience, those were the main attributes their mother taught them.

"Was she your inspiration? Someone you looked up to?"

He questioned and Phantom once again nodded.

"I still look up to her, even though she's no longer a soldier. She's simply..." The sniper trailed off, looking at something beyond MacTavish as if she had mentally teleported to another place.

"The greatest."

Phantom added and looked back at her Captain. He decided to disclose personal info as well, seeing as he poked her as well. Him and Roach shared many things, and being an only child was one of them. While Price and Ghost had a sibling, Roach and MacTavish had none. He said that to Phantom and she immediately connected the dots. Both of them approached her because of loneliness. They both wanted to make sure nobody was alone, including somebody like her. It gave her a warm feeling. That was why they cared so much. She never experienced that type of loneliness, it was alien to her. In fact, she had never truly felt lonely, but having somebody there for you, even if you sat in silence with them, was a good feeling. And when you realize that, you know you've found somebody special.

Phantom saw there was something more to her Captain than she originally thought. He kept something to himself, just as she was. For all her years in silence, she had learned to read people. And she saw something was hidden in him as it was in her.

But Phantom's mind, despite realizing that, couldn't grasp it. Her mind told her to push people away even more, telling her not to get too attached, as it could result in pain. Was she ready to take that emotional pain? To be ready to suffer if one she cared about would suddenly leave or worse, die? Was this the risk Ox took when he began hanging out with her? At that time, she wasn't ready, but she slowly began to think she could now. She began to welcome her new family, especially Roach and MacTavish.

She would still have to dwell on that.

Suddenly, Ghost and Roach appeared in their peripheral vision and the they looked at the two. There she went again, glaring at Ghost, the green eyed monster taking its toll again. MacTavish glanced at her and noticed that, wondering why she disliked him so much. Another question he wanted to ask but didn't. Phantom averted her gaze and stared at something a dot in the distance. Roach became annoyed at her attitude. She was disrespecting her fellow teammate and plainly ignored him right in front of her Captain. Ghost was Roach's best mate and he didn't want anyone to treat him like that, not even her.

"Hey, what's your problem?!"

He got into her face, banging onto the table with his hands and she swiftly turned her head to stare him down, furrowing her brows and  flattening her mouth. She became angry in an instant. MacTavish told Roach to settle down, but Ghost didn't react at all. Phantom stood up slowly, not wanting to get into an argument with any of them. She was about to leave when Roach spoke once more;

"Why are you like this?"

He asked, sounding both sad and angry, but she gave him no response, only walked away from the table, returning to her other spot next to a tall tree. The trio watched her leave, none of them doing anything until Roach went after her. MacTavish was considering it, but he

decided to stick with Ghost and have a chat with him. Just as he thought things were getting better...

* * *

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?!"

Roach called out after her and she stopped in her tracks, clenching her fists and looking at him. She waited for him to come closer. Roach looked bewildered.

"You've been treating Ghost like rubbish ever since you've got here!"

He angrily remarked, taking note of any change in her expression. Her eyes betrayed nothing and she remained silent. Other Task Force members were walking around, not paying any attention to the two. They didn't care if Roach had a problem with her, it was his to solve it. They preferred not to get too involved, or at all.

"Does it matter?"

She spoke in a low tone and Roach couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did she seriously ask him if her treating a teammate wrong mattered? Without any reason? What even...

"It does! I..."

"You what?"

Phantom sneered at him, knowing full well she shouldn't, and yet she did. He was nothing but kind and nice to her, just as MacTavish was, and there she went again leaving without an explanation or try to preserve what friendship they had. She wondered again if she was willing to take the risk she had been previously thinking about, and it looked to her she wasn't just yet. But Roach wasn't too keen on giving up.

"I thought we were friends..."

He spoke softly, his voice betraying sadness. Phantom's face softened upon seeing him like that, taking pity on him. Not wanting to harm him by saying anything stupid, she decided to walk away, intending on talking to him later, when she finally pieced together her troubled and mixed thoughts. Roach didn't even bother to look at her. He headed back to his Captain and best mate.

* * *

Sitting under the tree, Phantom tried hard to organize her messy thoughts. The risk was still on her mind, her 'friendship' with Roach and MacTavish, her dislike of Ghost, and even Captain Price. How would she ever tell Roach of her true reason behind her dislike of Ghost when even she knew it was ridicoulous, but her pride kept on getting the best of her? One day, she'd admit it to him, but not today. One day, he would know and so would Roach. She had to begin tolerating Ghost and being a bit better towards him. Maybe that's what pushed Price away from her? Maybe that's why he hated her?

She kept on saying it didn't matter, but it did. Not everyone would love her, but she needed to make allies and friends. Price seemed to be liked and admired by everyone, and MacTavish too. But MacTavish, just like she, was a deeply troubled and broken person. She knew very well of her situation, but refused to take any action, even though she had to. She had to do something, but where to begin?

Phantom figured she should apologize to Roach for starters, the poor man didn't deserve it. Ghost would come later, she still had to fight herself because of him and of course, the two Captains. She was much more fond of MacTavish then Price, who seemed very condescending. But then again, she used to be as well. Poor Ox, what did he had to deal with?

She realized maybe she had changed ever so slightly and for the better. She didn't treat others as inferior to herself anymore and her opinion of herself wasn't as high anymore. She was broken, and even though she didn't want to admit it, needed somebody to hear out her troubles. But not yet. She still had to warm up more, then she'd seek out her friend.

Standing up and swallowing her pride, she decided to look for Roach, but luckily, he found her first. She turned around and saw him walking towards her. Phantom decided to meet him halfway.

"Hey..."

She greeted him, looking in his eyes. He greeted her back and ran a hand through his fluffy blonde hair.

"I'm sorry, Roach," she began her apology, sounding truly sorry "I'm a difficult person, not many have tried to be my friend."

She spoke, and just as he wanted to say something, she brought her hand up to silence him.

"Before you say anything, I want to finish. Can I?"

Phantom told him and he nodded.

"You and Captain MacTavish are the only ones who tried to get to me. I appreciate that very much, I never had many friends due to my nature. You said you thought we're friends and we are."

She finished her small speech and made Roach smile. So his efforts weren't in vain after all.

"I'm glad you're my friend, but I can't tell you much yet. I will, Roach, but not yet."

The sniper informed her persistent teammate and friend who smiled even wider. He was glad she saw reason and didn't mind her keeping certain things to herself until the right time. He suddenly remembered their talk from a few weeks ago and her promise. She had just made another promise and he hoped she would keep it.

"I'm sorry too, Phantom. I overreacted and I won't do it again."

Roach spoke and the two stood there for a few moments until they parted ways, saying goodbye to each other.


	6. Welcome to the Jungle

**Chapter 6 - Welcome to the Jungle**

The next morning, Captain MacTavish informed his team of a new mission, one which would help them get closer to the mysterious Kingfish, whose identity was hidden to him by General Shepherd. He only knew he was a high-priority target, which didn't sit well with MacTavish. He felt there was something more to it, but Shepherd wouldn't clarify at all. Price was wary as well, but he didn't trust Shepherd as opposed to MacTavish. As the team sat in the chairs listening to their Captain, Phantom wondered if the new mission had something to do with that operation, which, as she heard, was supposed to be a prelude to something much bigger. MacTavish revealed it truly was a prelude, and the bigger thing was Operation Kingfish.

Satisfied that her unspoken question was answered immediately, she nodded slowly at almost everything he said. She didn't want her mind trailing off again.

"Our target is an old weapons cache situated in the Karakan Pine Forest in Russia, or more precisely, on the eastern coast of the Novosibirsk Reservoir."

MacTavish explained. Phantom raised an eyebrow, but he didn't notice and neither did Price, who was standing next to MacTavish as the latter was writing on the whiteboard.

_'A forest?'_

Phantom thought to herself. Why would anyone place a weapons cache in a forest? And who? All those questions swirled around her head and no answers came yet. She reasoned MacTavish would explain soon.

"General Shepherd himself had questioned Alexei, and our Russian told us he heard of that cache while he was still in the Ultranationalist Party. He also said it was one of the things which he shouldn't have learned and one of which forced him to leave. Apparently, it's tied to the Inner Circle, and possibly, to Makarov himself."

Captain MacTavish informed his team and briefly looked at Price. He asked him if he wanted to add something, but the older man declined. Price's disdain of Shepherd was obvious, but he didn't question the integrity of the mission itself. Phantom found it rather ironic.

"The forest itself is situated 70 kilometers south of the Novosibirsk center, and our mission is to check the weapons cache and look for any intel we can find."

The Scottish Captain added and finished writing on the whiteboard. He turned to his team and assigned them their roles. Phantom, this time, was assigned to be a scout, which suited her well. She was ready for anything her Captain told her to do. She glanced at Roach, but he didn't see her. To whoever the weapons cache was connected to, Shepherd was really eager to find out, as Captain Price informed the team of that.  
Phantom had rarely seen Shepherd, if ever, these days. He'd come and go, and sometimes she'd only catch a glimpse of him. She wondered if he had some hidden agenda, something buried in himself which he kept locked down. Phantom had a tendency of trying to figure people out, just as she did with Roach and MacTavish, but they were different. They were good. But Shepherd? She didn't know and couldn't figure him out. Price seemed to be on him as well, and never wanted anything to do with him. That much everyone knew.

And yet, the man remained a mystery and at least now she understood how her former teammates felt about her. She snapped back to reality by Roach, who nudged her with his elbow. Phantom looked at him.

"Come on, we've gotta move."

He told her and the two stood up. Phantom avoided eye contact with Ghost as she passed him, he was a matter for another day. Just as she promised Roach to explain her tattoo, it would be one day. One day, she would tell it all to both MacTavish and Roach. At the moment, she focused on her task.

The team quickly changed their clothes into their standard Task Force uniforms and headed to the armory. Phantom took a suppressed SCAR-L with the ACOG sight and also a handgun. There was no need for her to take a sniper rifle this time, making her a little bit disappointed. Just as usual, she met up with Roach, and this time MacTavish was with him. The team gathered and boarded the helicopter. As they sat down and settled their weapons, Roach was fiddling with his balaclava.

"So, we're heading into the jungle, huh?"

He remarked and MacTavish chuckled lightly.

"A forest, Roach, not a jungle."

The Scotsman spoke with a small smile. His statement didn't stop Roach from continuing his banter. Not like it bothered any of them, it was better for him to speak instead of them spending hours in silence. The chopper's blades began to spin and in a few moments they took off.

"That reminds me of a song, you know the one, 'Welcome to the Jungle' by Guns N' Roses. Good stuff."

Roach commented. Phantom suddenly remembered her mother when he mentioned Guns N' Roses. They were her mother's favorite band, although Phantom personally had never liked them. Her mother was the one who introduced her to her favorite type of music; psychedelic rock. Phantom also enjoyed soul, but her mother not so much.

When nobody praised or even said anything about the band, Roach decided to at least find out what music his teammates liked, as he never really pried into it much. He did know about Ghost, but not about anyone else.

"What do you say, Captain? They're good, aren't they?"

He looked at Captain MacTavish and waited for him to say something, but he only shrugged and glanced at Phantom. She was also eager to know.

"I have to say I prefer something a bit older, like Led Zeppelin and The Doors."

The Scottish Captain spoke, and Phantom's heart skipped a beat when she heard him mention The Doors. She would have never guessed he liked them as well. She had all of their records, and basically almost any tied to their type of music. Her span wasn't really big, but she liked it that way. She briefly thought if her record player was still there where she last left it or if it was moved.

As a child, her father would only tell her how Greek music was the only good type, as he always filled her and Cassandra's head with anything Greek. He taught them to be proud of their heritage, but they never paid much attention to that, much less when he taught them to speak Greek with his broken English and a strange accent. She pushed the thought of her father further away in her mind.

Roach then looked at Phantom.

"What about you, Phantom? You like Guns N' Roses?"

She shook her head and looked at MacTavish.

"I have to agree with the Captain on this one."

The sniper remarked and then averted her gaze. Price said nothing at all, he just listened. It was his style, after all. He was like some sort of grumpy, old watcher, never contributing much to a conversation but listening nonetheless. Once again, Phantom understood how her teammates felt when it came to her. She slowly began to realize silence was a bad choice. Nevertheless, there would be plenty of other circumstances when she would be able to speak more.

Roach made a few more comments along with Ghost, but then he put on his balaclava and helmet, signaling he was about to become the

"Quiet Roach" as Ghost nicknamed him. It was because he was a chatterbox personally, but during a mission not a sound was heard from him.

* * *

Hours later, the team rappelled down to their destination, the Karakan Pine Forest. Even if it was the end of March, it was still rather cold, but no traces of snow was found. Even if it did snow, it was long gone. Phantom didn't mind cold weather, sometimes she took comfort in it. They, as soldiers, were prepared for anything; heavy rain, extreme heat, freezing cold and whatever else came their way.

They were dropped off at the very edge of the eastern coast, and headed into the center of the forest. Price told them to watch their sectors and stay close. The team followed a pathway which seemed to lead to their destination, as MacTavish was checking the coordinates. The forest itself was big and the Captains made sure they wouldn't get lost on their way. They hoped, for everyone's sake, that Alexei's intel was right. After a while, they stopped. Price told MacTavish he had heard something in the distance.

"Phantom!"

MacTavish called her out. She turned around to face him.

"Scout ahead and report what you see."

He commanded and she went on. Hiding in the trees, Phantom made her way deeper into the forest to check for enemy activity. The team waited as she was operating around the area. Suddenly, she crouched down as she spotted three tangos walking towards the team. They were armed and wore balaclavas, possibly guarded the pathway towards weapons cache.

"Captain MacTavish, three tangos up ahead."

She informed him.

"Take them out and wait there."

The Captain said and she did as she was told. Aiming right into their heads, she squeezed the trigger and watched as one of them fell. She quickly took out the two panicking tangos with her SCAR-L and stood up.

"Done."

She told her Captain and he commented they were on their way. After a few minutes, she saw them getting close and moved out of the trees. Phantom looked at her teammates.

"I think they were guarding the path to the cache."

She informed the Captains who seemed to agree with her. The question was; what about people who visited the forest? It wasn't like it was some hidden place in the middle of nowhere. Were they killed or were they imprisoned? Whatever the case was, they'd put an end to it. The team headed towards the three dead bodies and examined their equipment. They wore camo clothes and assault vests, but no helmets, only balaclavas. Their weapon of choice was FAMAS.

"Ultranationalists, sir?"

Ghost asked Captain MacTavish, but the latter wasn't so sure of it. He asked Price for his opinion. It wouldn't be strange, but it may raise many questions.

"Possibly, nobody else could patrol these parts. It's highly likely they prohibited access to anyone not their own, but still needed to keep guard."

Price answered. Who knows what kind of activity was going on in the forest, not just around the cache. Phantom wondered if if they actually bought the entire forest? She proposed the question to the Captains.

"Could be, but they also could have just bought the part of it with the cache. Either way they've solved the problem of any intruders."

MacTavish said, but then Ghost asked who exactly owned it and what was really in the cache. The Scottish Captain only said they should move on. They passed the dead guards and walked on the pathway, watching closely for any movement. Once again, after they've walked a while, he told Phantom to scout ahead. She did, staying behind trees again. Scanning the environment, she saw nothing. Not even high up, even though nobody could really climb the trees. She informed her Captain of negative activity and he told her to proceed further. Crouching down, she went on. Suddenly, she spotted a cabin in the distance, their destination and two tangos outside of it.

"Captain, I see the cabin and two tangos, but they're too far away. I can't see who's inside."

She told him, and he said they're on their way to meet her. They reached after a few more minutes and she stood up, exiting the cover of the trees. Phantom pointed to the direction of the wooden cabin, saying they should cut through the trees to reach it. MacTavish took her advice, and told her to lead on.

The team followed their scout close behind and looked around, wary of anything moving. As they were walking, Phantom asked Price for the pair of binoculars to check further. He gave them to her and she moved ahead of them, telling them she would take a look at the cabin better. Peeking through them, she informed her team:

"There's still just the two of them outside. I see somebody moving inside, so far I count three tangos. One just exited through the back. He's simply standing there. Four tangos, three outside and one inside, there could be more inside."

"Alright, let's move!"

Price commanded and they were off, getting closer to Phantom. She gave the binoculars back to him and they proceeded to the cabin. MacTavish motioned for Ghost and Roach to take the left side (the back side), while the rest would take the right side. They got closer and nodded at each other, signaling to move. The bullets flew from both sides and their sudden appearance caught the Russians by surprise. The Task Force cut them down and positioned themselves at the back and front sides of the cabin.

"Now!"

Price spoke and they breached the cabin, kicking the doors. There were two more tangos inside and they easily took them down. They lowered their weapons and checked every corner of the seemingly modest cabin. There was not much to it, and Ghost found a file in one of the closets. He approached Captain MacTavish.

"Sir, I found this in the wardrobe."

MacTavish took the files. He opened the file and read it, but at first glance it only appeared to be a list of what was inside the hidden cache. He flipped the page and found something interesting. The page showed him a list of names and how much money anyone invested into the cache, along with what type of weapon they've bought. The list was long and it continued onto the next page, which displayed information about ammo. This told him one thing; the Ultranationalists were preparing for war. The question 'when' remained a mystery. He praised Ghost for the find and asked if anyone else had found something, but nobody had.

"Price, take a look at this."

He said, handing the file to the older Captain. He quickly flipped through it and closed it.

"They're certainly better prepared than we thought."

Captain Price commented.

"You think Makarov himself oversaw all of this?"

MacTavish asked, pointing at the file. Price shook his head.

"No, it was probably one of his close confidants, he's probably got another cache somewhere else, not just here. We still need to find it."

The English Captain said to his protégé and they wanted to continue their search for the cache, but Roach and Phantom beat them to it. They saw them moving a table and removing the rug to reveal a door.

"We found it!"

Phantom proudly exclaimed, looking at the Captains and Roach gave her a thumbs up. She saw the ever so small smile on MacTavish's face. Then, they opened the door which led underground.

_'How original.'_

Phantom thought to herself. They could have picked a better spot, but they didn't. The whole cabin was just a façade covering the large hole hopefully full of weapons and ammo. If there was nothing, then they've wasted their time. Roach descended down, after him Phantom and Ghost, then MacTavish and Price. Luckily, the 'basement' was full.

Ghost took a flashlight he found on a table with ammo scattered all over it and turned it on. They marveled at all the equipment there.

"They've been really busy."

MacTavish commented and the team examined the tables on each side of the 'basement'. It was long and pretty dark, with the only source of light coming from the door and Ghost's flashlight. They were glad there were no dead bodies there, as they initially wondered what happened to anyone unfortunate enough to stumble upon the cabin by accident. After a while, MacTavish said he would contact Shepherd once they get out.

When they exited the cache, closed the door and moved everything where it was, Roach found another file in a kitchen cupboard. He handed it over to MacTavish and he saw it was a contract regarding the buying of the forest signed by somebody whose name was Sergei L. Maybe he was Makarov's close confidant? Or maybe his alias? Whoever he was, it appeared Phantom was right about them buying the forest. He told her that and then thanked Roach for the document. The Task Force was then off with the documents and MacTavish contacted Shepherd of their findings and the General told them chopper would pick them off shortly.


	7. The Darkest Night

**Chapter 7 - The Darkest Night**

Almost every night, the same haunting and disturbing image appeared in his dreams. It was too vivid, and he couldn't wake no matter what how much he wanted to. It was the scene of Griggs and Gaz dying right in front of him. He was unable to do anything but watch and the unwavering feeling of guilt was ever-present. Guilt over being alive while his teammates were dead. When would he ever shake that horrible feeling? When would he be able to sleep properly, finally being able to say 'I'm free.'? He didn't know and was too afraid to even seek the answer.

Then, he shot Zakhaev in his head, lodging a bullet deep into his skull and sealed his fate. Not just Zakhaev's, but unknowingly that of himself as well. His death gave him little peace, much less made him feel better in any way.

MacTavish would wake after the draining nightmare was over, blinking rapidly and stared into the darkness. He could never fall asleep again after it, he'd just walk over to that tree and sit under it, watching the twinkle of the stars. Cursing them was no good, they've never done him any harm. In fact, they've been his support, and he found some comfort in them. He wrote down his thoughts in his journal, but nobody would ever read that. Opening up to somebody about it didn't seem like an option even though he wanted to.

Tonight was no different. Another nightmare fueled April night, and he was growing sick and tired of it. He checked the clock. It was 4:14 am. He decided to stand up, put his pants on and head to that tree. Everyone had to wake up at 5:00 anyway. As he was walking under the night sky, he spotted somebody already there. Somebody with thick, curly shoulder-length hair. He recognized the person instantly.

Phantom.

She was standing with her arms crossed, looking up. He approached her quietly, as not to break whatever thought she had in her mind. She heard him coming nonetheless and turned around. Her eyebrows rose as she looked at her Captain. He greeted her wearily, taking a few steps to stand next to her.

"Captain? What are you doing up?"

She questioned him and he smirked.

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

MacTavish answered, placing his hands behind him. Phantom looked into the distance, trying to figure out how she'd tell her Captain she had a nightmare without sounding like a child. Phantom decided to play it safe, but she felt as if she was lying to him. She hated lying.

"I couldn't sleep."

She simply responded. The sentence was actually true, but she didn't state the real reason. MacTavish saw she hid it, but didn't pressure her to say it.

"That makes the two of us."

The Scottish Captain told his Sergeant and the two just stood there in silence, looking at something in the distance. The night was rather warm and the sky completely cloudless, perfect for observing the stars. He considered himself a dreamer, trying to make a change in the world. He thought by joining the army he'd do just that. How wrong he was...

Attempting to break the awkward silence, he decided to talk to her about her phoenix tattoo. Roach said he learned its meaning, but refused to say it. He insisted if anyone wanted to know, they should ask Phantom personally.

"Roach told me you've explained your tattoo to him...may I know as well?"

He asked, slightly startling her due to her being buried in thoughts. And the fact he had such a deep voice didn't help.

"It's a long story."

"I have time."

The two of them exchanged and briefly looked at each other. He was her friend as much as Roach was, so she trusted him enough with the information she considered personal. Over the course of two months, she learned to trust him. Not just as a soldier, but as a person. They saw something in each other, something hidden, something locked down. It seemed a part was about to come to light.

"Sit, then."

Phantom said to MacTavish and gestured towards the base of the tree. Standing wasn't going to do them any good and it looked like they were about to spend some time there.

He sat down, leaning against the tree as she sat opposite of him on the grass. Taking a deep breath, she began what she deemed to be a long story.

"My mother used to say one thing to both my sister and me; 'a phoenix always rises from the ashes'."

MacTavish listened attentively to her. He liked her voice, it was...soothing somehow. He cleared his head of any more thoughts like that, considering them inappropriate. Even a small compliment like that messed with his strict moral code. Little did he know, she thought the same thing about him.

"She'd say that when we were sad or did something to harm ourselves, even if it wasn't intentional. It was her own way of saying everything was going to be alright. That phrase has been with me since childhood and it especially comforted me after the incident with my father."

Phantom explained, leaving out the details about the incident, not wanting to speak of that at the moment. The thought of asking her about it crossed his mind, but he didn't go on with it. He figured if she wanted to say it, she would have. There was no point in forcing anyone to tell something they didn't intend to.

She looked down at her feet and smiled at one particular memory of her mother. One where she hugged her tightly after Phantom cried, and told her she would be alright because a phoenix always rose from the ashes. Phantom never considered herself a phoenix or any mythical creature. If anyone from her family truly was a phoenix, then it was either her mother or her sister. They were her biggest heroes and inspirations, and they deserved to be called the name of the fire bird. It was true Phantom could recover quickly, and stand as tall and proud as ever, but she still thought the title best suited her mother and sister.

MacTavish couldn't judge on that, seeing as he didn't know much about her past or any trauma she went through, but he sensed it nonetheless. He went through hell himself, and he thought he found a kindred spirit in her. He looked at the scar on her cheek and wondered why it was there. Who or what gave it to her? Once more, he didn't ask.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, just taking comfort in each other's company. No questions asked, no answers given, only two people sitting under a tree at night, unable to sleep. She was glad she wasn't alone, and also for the fact they met at this particular night. It was probably a coincidence, but she didn't believe in such things. Fate? No it wasn't, it would be ridiculous. Perhaps it was just perfectly timed, but not fated? She settled on that, refusing to believe in a thing as stupid as fate.

In her mind, there was no predestined path one must take, it was simply the way one had chosen for himself or herself. Was there a higher power tugging at her life strings, steering her where she was supposed to go as if she was a puppet? No, she reasoned, she was her own master and she could do whatever she wanted. There was no destiny, no fate for her, only the path she chose for herself. There was always a choice, no matter what.

She decided to ask her Captain what he thought about it all:

"Captain?"

Phantom called him, and he looked at her.

"Do you believe in fate?"

She asked in a soft tone. He was slightly taken aback and surprised at her question. Their eyes met as MacTavish contemplated what to say to her. He really didn't know nor did he ever gave it much thought.

"Not really, do you?"

He finally answered and she shook her head. Phantom looked at something beyond him.

"I only believe we are the ones who control ourselves, not somebody high and mighty. There's always a choice, no matter what."

Phantom spoke and gazed back at him. By 'somebody high and mighty' he figured she was talking about God, and since he was a Roman Catholic, he took it she was not. It didn't bother him, why would it?  He agreed with her statement so he informed her of it. She smiled slightly, and thanked him for thinking the same. When he asked her why she thanked him, she found no clear answer to his question, only a guess. It was probably because she finally met somebody who thought very much like her. Instead of telling him that, she simply shrugged.

The night didn't seem as dark anymore, it was set alight by a few conversations. Even little things, like them sitting there, could fill their aching souls just for a while. Maybe those unspoken things they still hid inside of themselves would come to light later. Not tonight, but later, when they were both ready. They were getting there, slowly but surely.

The two lost track of time, and MacTavish said he would go check the time and come back. He stood up and left, she watched him go. He ran a hand through his mohawk, and she couldn't help but admire the way his hips moved as he walked. She mentally slapped herself.

'What's wrong with you?! He's your Captain!'

Phantom scolded herself and shook any more thoughts like that from her mind. She had seen plenty of attractive men and women during her service in the army, so why was he so special? He was not only her friend but also her Captain who just happened to be handsome. It wasn't like she was planning on telling him that. She didn't want to lose his trust, much less his friendship which she cherished. Roach and MacTavish were her friends and it made her feel happy. She hadn't felt so content with having friends in a really long time. Price and Ghost, or anybody else for that matter, didn't care for her, but truth be told, Roach and MacTavish were more than enough for her.

Not only that, but she began to speak more, and also trust them. It was both a great and dreadful feeling, to care for somebody but also know they could be taken away at any moment. She finally realized she had taken the risk she thought about a month ago. She let them in.  
After a few moments, MacTavish came back and said it was 4:33 am, meaning they had less than half an hour to kill. So they continued sitting opposite of each other, thinking about so many things. They were both rather tired, but there was no point in trying to sleep again. Neither of them could and they came to one conclusion; coffee.

The Captain asked the Sergeant if she would like to get a cup of coffee with him, to which she said yes and the two left the tree. Phantom looked at the barracks and around the helipad. Nobody but them was there as everyone was still asleep and everything felt so peaceful. As a child, she feared the dark, but overcame her fear when she took comfort in the night and its glowing stars.

They sat at a table, sipping coffee and listening to the faint sound of the clock ticking. Occasionally, one of them would check the time. After a while, Phantom spoke:

"I should go."

She looked at MacTavish, who only nodded. Taking the final sip, she settled the cup on the table and left to the barracks to lie down for a while until she really had to get up. MacTavish stared at her cup and the now deserted place she was sitting on. He was glad she kept him company and that they talked.

He remained there alone, rubbing his eyes and sighing. Realizing it was almost time to wake the whole Task Force up, he left as well, only a couple of minutes after her.

What he thought would be one more horrible night of being alone under the tree and desperately trying to get the dark thoughts out of his mind, turned out to be decent and bearable with a friend by his side.


	8. Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter, things are heating up! Please r&r!

**Chapter 8 - Wolf In Sheep's Clothes**

The tensions surrounding the great operation were getting higher and higher, and yet MacTavish didn't bother to question General Shepherd about the mysterious Kingfish. He probably trusted the older man a bit too much, and nobody knew if there would be any consequences. Price was a different story and a different man overall. From day one, he distrusted the General and yet, with all the resentment he held for him, didn't question the mission either. The team silently watched as Shepherd paced back and forth, explaining the severity and importance of the mission.

Phantom, like Price, couldn't hold the General a trustworthy man. He had something in him which bothered her, and she couldn't place her finger on it. Was he hiding something? Most likely, seeing as she did as well and so many other people, but why did she feel his secret was bigger? Maybe she was overthinking about certain things, but the feeling was still there. Seeing as Price wasn't going to talk to MacTavish about Shepherd, Phantom took it upon herself to warn the Captain, even if he would scold her or deny her doubts. She'd do that as soon as the American was done talking.

He explained almost everything, and the one thing that was left unsaid was Kingfish's identity. No matter how much she tried, she could not even read between the lines. Despite her attentive listening, he betrayed nothing. The whole team seemed to be trying to figure him out. Phantom looked at both Roach and Ghost, and the two just stared at the General standing right in front of them, still speaking.

He didn't take her looking at them too kindly.

"Sergeant Dimakos!"

Shepherd called her out and she immediately looked back at him, regretting her decision of trying to see her comrades.

"Yes, sir?"

"Is there a problem?"

"No, sir."

"Good, now listen to what I have to say, unless you want to be left out."

They exchanged and she nodded at his last statement. She agitated one of the men who got her into the Task Force 141 and not to mention he was its leader, he could just as well kick her out. MacTavish and Price looked at the Sergeant as she focused her attention back to Shepherd.

_'Got you there, didn't I?'_

She thought to herself and knew she was playing with fire, but it was worth it. Sooner or later, whatever he withdrew from them would come to light or at least that's what she thought. She was most likely wrong, but being suspicious and skeptical were always her main traits, among other things. She knew she was a unlikable person, but she didn't really care, and now she even appeared to be slightly arrogant towards the General. Phantom knew he wanted everyone's undivided attention and looking away from him as he was explaining things was a bad choice.

He told them the operation would take place three months from now, on October 8th in Karkonosze Mountains, Ukraine. Shepherd also told them they'd work with a Delta Force team. He briefly mentioned he sent a drone to check on the weapons cache the Task Force found in the Russian forest. He said the cabin used as a front was destroyed and no more activity was there. He asked if anyone had a question regarding the Operation Kingfish, but nobody said a thing. Phantom hoped the Captains would say something, but they remained silent. The team was dismissed and they stood up from the chairs, leaving the three men in a hurry.

Phantom wanted to stay and see how the situation would develop, but she wasn't allowed to. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned her head to look at the person to her right.

"Bench?"

Roach asked her with a small smile. The "bench" was their usual spot in the mess hall and whenever he mentioned it, it usually meant something was bothering him. It looked like somebody else was feeling uneasy. She nodded and he proceeded to ask Ghost about joining them and he agreed. Phantom wasn't really too thrilled about it, but she had begun to act a bit better towards Ghost. She didn't ignore him or was rude to him anymore, but the two still didn't like each other. Phantom wondered if it was getting close to that time when she would finally say why she really didn't care for Ghost.

The trio reached their spot and sat down at the table. Roach ran a hand through his hair as Phantom adjusted the black bandana on her hairline. Ghost pulled up his ski mask ever so slightly to scratch his chin. Phantom, or anyone else, had never seen him without his mask. Roach wore headgear which covered his face, but that was only during a mission.

"I don't know about you two," the blonde man began, looking first at Ghost and then at Phantom, "but I feel something isn't right."

He shared his thoughts with his friends and teammates.

"What do you mean?"

Ghost questioned him, and Roach focused himself on the man sitting next to him.

"The operation, I think something is missing. Shepherd said the man we're supposed to track down is of high importance, but he didn't say who."

Roach told him, but Ghost wasn't really impressed with it.

"Maybe he doesn't know himself. Who knows who gathered the intel about that man."

The ski mask wearing man said, causing Roach to rise his eyebrows in confusion. Shepherd was the General, he had to know. And why would he even hold information from them? He was their leader, he wasn't supposed to keep things like that to himself. Perhaps Ghost was right, maybe Shepherd really didn't know. But that only rose more questions which they couldn't answer. They were bothered by them to no end.

"Yes, but then how did Shepherd get the info?"

Roach asked his teammate, but he only shrugged. Phantom looked away, not wanting to say anything regarding the matter, because neither did she know anything. She only told them she didn't trust Shepherd and that was it. Roach seemed to have agreed with her, but Ghost didn't. He couldn't fathom why would anyone mistrust their own leader, much less a man like Shepherd. He didn't see it, and plenty of other Task Force soldiers didn't either. Was it just the few who had a horrible feeling about it all, or was there somebody else besides them? What of the Delta Force team? What did they know?

They hated all this uncertainty, but they only had one choice which they almost could not make peace with;

Trust whatever Shepherd told them.

They all thought the same thing, but were not able to say it. It was as if the thought itself was stuck somewhere in their mind, and unable to get out. But Phantom found no peace, she had to tell Price and MacTavish no matter what. They could scold, warn or whatever else all day, but she still wouldn't care. She banged her fist at table, startling her two companions.

"I'm going to tell the Captains."

She simply spoke and the two men looked between each other. They didn't know what she was talking about, so Roach questioned her about her vague statement.

"I'll tell them about Shepherd."

"Yeah, but what if we're wrong?"

"So what, at least they'll know what we think."

Roach and Phantom exchanged then the trio fell back into silence. They made no sound or movement, they only buried themselves into their thoughts. They wondered what were the three men still inside talking about. Maybe it was something other than Kingfish? They hoped so, because they didn't think they could handle any more of the absurd secrecy. After a few moments, Phantom stood up and walked away from the table. She went outside into the scorching July sun, intending on waiting for the three men to exit the building. She didn't see them, and apparently Shepherd hadn't left yet, since his helicopter was still situated on its helipad.

The woman leaned against the wall and crossed her arms. Her current pose reminded her of the past days, back in SAS, when she was still under Captain Williams. She'd always stand outside, leaned against the wall and remained there in silence. No matter the weather, in her free time she was always there, away from her teammates, not wanting to see or talk to them. How things have changed.

She didn't mind where she was, she became quite content with having two good friends at the moment, people she truly trusted. Then it dawned on her; she followed MacTavish and Price, not Shepherd. He may have been the one who congratulated her first on being accepted into the 'one-four-one', but he wasn't a man she would follow. Tightening her ponytail, she looked to her left.

_'Speak of the devil...'_

She thought to herself and spotted General Shepherd walking in front of MacTavish and Price. Crossing her arms again, she watched the trio approached the chopper. The pilot rushed inside the helicopter and in a matter of seconds, its rotor blades began to spin. She looked at them, despite the sun blazing bright. Phantom was lucky because she didn't have to wait for long, and a few minutes later, Shepherd entered the helicopter and flew away.

She moved away from the wall and walked towards the two Captains as soon as Shepherd's heli was high up in the air and far away. They walked slowly to another building, but MacTavish stopped in his tracks when he saw her approaching them. He looked at her.

"Phantom? Everything alright?"

The Scotsman asked, and she ignored Price's glare as she was finally close enough to them. She sighed and placed her hands on her hips.

"No, it's not. I have to say something, Captain."

She told him and he gave her the permission to speak her mind.

"I don't think we should trust Shepherd so easily. He's hiding something."

Phantom spoke, making sure not to mention Roach who also had his doubts. MacTavish was taken aback by what she said. He turned his body fully to her. They were friends, that much was true, but he was still her superior, and he didn't like what she spoke. She was disrespecting Shepherd and had no right to. Phantom saw her mistake and just like averting her gaze from Shepherd earlier, she regretted it. It was not her day. His blue eyes became as cold as ice, and she could almost feel them boring into her brown ones. He was too close for comfort. Price remained by MacTavish's side, saying nothing.

"Are you questioning the integrity of your leader, Sergeant?"

The Scottish Captain asked her and she shook her head no.

"No, sir."

"Good, because it seemed to me like you were."

And with that, he turned around and left. Price, surprisingly, remained in his spot. The two watched the Scotsman stomp away, unaware of the fact Price was still way behind him. Then, Phantom looked at the older Captain. She didn't dare to say anything anymore.

"I feel the same way."

Price spoke to her in his gruff voice and she didn't expect him to say anything, much less feel the same as her and Roach. It appeared Ghost and MacTavish didn't see anything wrong with the situation. She wanted to question Price about Kingfish's identity, but did not. Price only guessed who he could be, and yet didn't say it to anyone, not even MacTavish.

Phantom nodded at what Price said. He saw her bewildered expression, and once more, remained silent. He gave her no comforting advice or anything of the sort. He left her side a few moments later and Phantom realized she could see Price the same way she saw Ghost. Neither her friend nor her enemy. It was all so strange.

Clearing up her thoughts and casually brushing off her failed attempt at speaking to her Captain, she walked into the mess hall. Roach and Ghost were still there and she joined them.

"How did it go?"

Roach asked his friend and she shook her head as she sat down.

"Not good."

Phantom replied and cracked her knuckles. That reaction from MacTavish was probably expected, seeing as she made Shepherd agitated when he was still explaining the situation. She wondered if that left a stain on her and MacTavish's friendship. She hoped it didn't, but she would still apologize the next time she saw him.


	9. Operation Kingfish

**Chapter 9 – Operation Kingfish**

October 8th...the fateful day had arrived at long last. Its morning was marked by a cloudless blue sky and the sun shined brightly. It wasn't as hot as it used to be, and the falling leaves made their way to the ground. Captain MacTavish stood up, stretching and getting dressed as quickly as possible. The team had already been woken by Price, who seemed to be very eager to get going. A Delta Force team, which consisted of two members called Frost and Sandman, would meet them on site and provide cover from a hilltop. The mission was simple; kill or capture Kingfish. Yet, nobody truly knew who the person was, and guessing wasn't a good idea. Not even the Captains knew.

The secrecy left a sour taste in few 'one-four-one's members mouths, mainly Roach and Phantom. After the fiasco from three months ago, when Shepherd visited their base to inform them about the mission, and Phantom tried to talk to MacTavish about hers and Roach's suspicion. She didn't mention Roach, fearing if she was wrong, her Captain would view Roach in a different light. She didn't want that for her friend. MacTavish and Phantom had since made up and she apologized to him in a more proper manner, telling him she would never do such a thing again. As both her Captain and friend, he forgave her. The woman was glad she managed to perserve her friendship with him and she mentally cursed herself for even saying something. She was a soldier, she had to follow orders no matter what, and up until that point, she had.

Nevertheless, Roach and Phantom still had the horrible feeling and it kept gnawing at them. They felt something, but neither of them said anything. Were they afraid? In a way, yes. They feared for their teammates, not for themselves.

MacTavish headed into the all too familiar room with the whiteboard and briefed his team for the last time before the operation began.

He told them of the Delta Team and once again repeated where they would be going and what their goal is. Phantom didn't dare to look away from him. When he was done, they left to pick up their equipment. On the way out, she spotted Vulture in the hallway, but he didn't seem to see her. She accidentally brushed against MacTavish's arm, sending a rather electrifying sensation down her spine. Phantom quickly apologized for bumping into his arm, and cleared her head.

She was partially glad Vulture wasn't picked for the mission or on the team, as she still didn't like him. But just like her opinion on Ghost, it changed. She tolerated both of them, but still held a distance from them. She doesn't exactly consider Ghost her friend or Vulture either. Tightening her black bandana and ponytail, she changed her clothes to her assault uniform and picked up her prized SCAR-L, the same weapon was chosen by Ghost, the others have also taken assault rifles. Phantom walked over to Roach, his face hidden by a balaclava and helmet. She smirked as he nodded at her, beckoning her closer. Ghost was by their side in a mere moment, equipped with his sunglasses and headset. They stood in silence, the only sound that was heard was that of the helicopter blades. Phantom slung her SCAR-L over her shoulder to crack her knuckles. The three then spotted the two Captains approaching the chopper. Price waved his hand to the three, prompting them to get to the chopper.

They did and settled down, waiting for another hours long ride to Karkonosze Mountains in Ukraine. Phantom wondered if the Delta Force team had left or if they had already arrived. The silence was broken by Captain MacTavish, who informed the team they would be extracted with a V-22 Osprey along with the two Delta Force members. Phantom hoped the aim of the Americans would be true, especially the sniper.

For the rest of the trip, nobody said a thing, which suited Phantom. She welcomed the silence, and briefly wondered if she'd ever fall back into it.

_'Never.'_

Was her final thought before focusing on a black dot on the floor and sitting quietly.

* * *

 

When they arrived near ruined town next to a forest in Ukraine and exited the chopper, Phantom immediately noticed the change in the weather. The rather sunny day in England, which was odd for the country, was replaced by grey clouds in the sky, hiding the sun. The town itself seemed to be a part of the destination, but it was separated by the forest, unless a person wanted to go around it. Her inner report was cut short when she noticed two men approaching them, one wearing a ghillie suit and the other a standard uniform with sunglasses. She figured the two were the Delta Force team. The man with the sunglasses identified himself as Sandman and introduced his teammate, Frost. The latter extended his hand and shook with each of the Task Force members, nodding curtly in the process. After a brief conversation, Price lit up a cigar and Sandman asked if a picture could be taken. MacTavish raised an eyebrow at his request, wondering why would he waste time with a photo. Sandman said they arrived earlier anyway, so they could still burn some time. The Scotsman reluctantly nodded and Sandman told Frost to take the photo. Phantom watched the man pull out a black, digital compact camera. She said nothing throughout this whole ordeal, and she only decided to stand behind MacTavish and Price, looking at the ghillie suit wearing man. She gripped her assault rifle and looked at the camera.

After the photo was taken, Sandman said he and Frost would be leaving to the hilltop. He advised the 'one-four-one' to head to the forest. Wishing them luck, the Delta Force members left in a hurry.

The Task Force left on their way as well. Upon reaching the forest, Phantom smirked to herself, noticing there was always something about the woods. She refrained herself from making a comment, deeming it inappropriate. They were moving rather quickly, and MacTavish told them to stay frosty and check for activity. Surprisingly, there was none, nobody was patrolling the forest. It was different than the last time they went to such a place, but then again, this was a major operation. It was a different thing completely.

The team was getting closer and closer to the edge. Their pace slowed down as they finally reached the edge. Sandman and Frost were in position on the hilltop. Frost was aiming down the sight of the HS.50, patiently waiting as Sandman looked through the binoculars to check for targets.

„One-four-one is moved to standby positions."

Price informed the two Delta Force members.

„We count four targets patrolling the roof of the east and west barracks. Targets are locked in. Delta ready to engage, over."

Sandman spoke as he looked at the tangos. He told to engage, and he commanded Frost to fire. Frost fired three times, hitting each time.

„Hornet's Nest has been stirred! Spectre 6-4, you are clear to engage the playground."

Sandman informed the AC-130 pilot flying above the playground. He was moving and began to gun down the Russian soldiers attempting to flee.

„Good kill, good kill."

Said the AC-130 gunner. The Russian soldiers began to panic. They kept asking each other what was happening and if they could see their enemies. The gunship went for another round, destroying a building. After that, the AC gunner told the Task Force they got them covered and to move up. The 'one-four-one' advanced. As they were moving, one Russian soldier tried to inform of the Task Force's arrival, but he was shot in the head by MacTavish before he could finish his sentence. They moved up to a building wall and waited. Price told Spectre 6-4 to fire at the west barracks and so the gunship did, destroying the barracks. Russian soldiers retaliated, nearly shooting Price, but MacTavish used the grenade launcher on his rifle and sent one flying at them. The team continued forward.

„Spectre 6-4, give us an entrance."

Captain Price spoke to the gunship pilot as they ran inside the building. He threw a frag inside a room, warning the team by saying „frag out". He looked away as not to be hit by debris and the team could hear Russian soldiers shouting from inside. The grenade went off, and one Russian was thrown out of the room by the blast. Phantom and Roach immediately shot at the man, killing him. Ghost moved up from the rear, looking to his right into the room. He told the team the room was clear. He went further in and saw a man running at him through an opening in the wall on the left. Ghost shot him and another one who appeared from a room in front of him. Moving even further, he stopped at the corner on the left and informed his team the hallway was clear.

The Task Force moved towards the hallway. Price, Roach and Phantom went first as MacTavish remained by Ghost's side. When the three of them left, so did MacTavish who patted Ghost's shoulder, prompting him to come as well.

As they moved through the poorly lit hallway, they killed any Russian trying to exit a room to kill them. When they cleared it up, they stacked at another door.

„Tossing grenade."

Captain Price said and threw the grenade into a room full of screaming Russians. Phantom didn't understand what they were saying, but it was most likely curses. When it exploded, the hallway was filled with smoke and the team was commanded by Price to move up. Almost in unison, they stood up and walked on. Roach planted an explosive charge on a door at the end of the hallway. When it went off, MacTavish wasted no time in throwing a 9-bang inside, warning his teammates beforehand.

The three soldiers inside were blinded by the 9-bang and subsequently shot down by Roach, Phantom and MacTavish. The Scottish Captain went first inside the messy room. It was rather dark, the table held computers and laptops. There was a cabinet with three shelves stacked with boxes and a map glued to a wall. On the right side, there were two more white tables next to each other with various files on them and two pinboards hung above them. MacTavish shot the Russian soldier lying on the ground before moving up to the other one. He moved his head with his boot to look at the dead man's face. Blood trickled down from his mouth. Ghost said the room was clear as he moved in.

Price walked around the room, placing a finger on his earpiece.

„The 'one-four-one' has arrived at target. There's no sign of Kingfish. I repeat, there is no sign of Kingfish."

He informed the Command of the situation. He was told to collect any intel and to find out where's Kingfish going. Phantom remained standing by the entrance as she watched MacTavish move up to one of the pinboards. He stared at it, seeing two large black and white photos depicting himself and Price respectively. Above it was the picture that was taken at Firebase Phoenix back in August. The faces of the Afghan soldiers and Rangers were crossed with a red marker and only the heads of the Task Force remained intact and visible. There were also few pictures of different locations. Stunned, MacTavish was silent for a while as he looked at the photos.

„Price, you need to see this."

He finally informed the older Captain.

„He's targeting Bravo Six."

The Scotsman spoke when Kingfish's intention finally dawned on him. Phantom walked into the room and stood next to Roach. She looked between the two Captains.

„Where the bloody hell is he?"

She asked, gripping her SCAR-L tighter, but her question was too quiet for the two of the Captains to hear. A better question would have been 'who is he' since his identity remained unknown, but she asked anyway. Roach, however, did hear her, and glanced at her to say something, but it would remain unspoken as Price suddenly yelled there was a bomb and told them to get down. They ran straight for the entrance as it exploded, shutting down a security camera in the process. The Task Force ran for their lives through the building and finally outside where they met up with Frost and Sandman. Running fast, not looking back at the hordes of Russian soldiers chasing them. As they rushed through the forest to reach the extraction point, MacTavish yelled at them to move. When they finally exited the forest, Price told the AC-130 pilot they were approaching the evac point and requested danger close fire.

„Solid copy, we got you covered."

The AC-130 pilot informed him and proceeded to gun down any Russian soldier chasing the friendlies. The gunner managed to mow down several Russians, and seemed to be rather happy about the result, but it didn't last. One soldier appeared with a FIM-92 Stinger, bent on taking down the gunship. He ordered his fellow soldiers to cover him as he took aim. The Stinger locked onto the gunship and the Russian fired.

The AC-130 signaled a missile warning, beeping loudly and quickly. The pilot cursed.

„Spark the flares, spark the flares!"

He said in a hurry, trying to stop the oncoming missile. The flares have managed to distract it and it didn't hit the gunship. Just when the pilot and the gunner wanted to exhale out of relief, another missile was fired.

„Oh, shit, another one!"

„Here comes another one!"

„Break right, break right!"

The two exchanged and soon after the missile hit the gunship's nose and it exploded. The Task Force watched the explosion as they were running and the Command informed them of Spectre 6-4's demise. MacTavish told the team to keep moving and just as he did, one Russian armed with an RPG fired at them, trying to stop them from advancing. The rocket hit the ground close to MacTavish, and he fell onto the ground, injured. The team looked behind, only to see him lying on the ground motionless. Phantom's heart sank when she saw him like that and she immediately rushed to his side to help him, as she was the closest one to him. She called upon Roach, and with his help she dragged MacTavish to the exfil. Phantom told Ghost to cover them, which he did, along with Price. She didn't want to lose her Captain, her close friend, her...

MacTavish coughed blood as he was being dragged by his two teammates. Price ordered Ghost to leave, saying it was an order, and after a few seconds, the latter cursed and abandoned Price's side. The old Captain was crouching down, firing at the enemies. Sandman yelled at Price to get his attention so he could go towards the aircraft. But Price didn't.

Frost, Ghost and Sandman were covering Roach and Phantom as the two finally boarded the injured MacTavish onto the V-22 Osprey. Phantom looked at his face briefly, noticing a large scar over his left eye and his mouth full of blood. The Command told the aircraft pilots that the orders were to take off immediately, but Sandman argued against it, saying they still had a man out in the field.

„Sir, our orders are to evacuate now."

The pilot calmly responded, but Sandman wasn't having it. He was angry and wanted to help Price.

„We're not leaving anyone behind! I don't care what your orders are!"

He shouted back at the pilot as MacTavish came to his senses. He looked outside and saw Price still out there, fighting. He wanted to go out to collect Price and bring him back, but he was held back by Roach. Phantom was saying something to him, but he couldn't hear her very well. MacTavish was extending out his arm as if he could grab Price and pull him in. The hatch was closing and Phantom managed to catch one last glimpse of Price. She felt immensely sorry they had to leave him behind, despite the fact she never liked him much and vice versa. She respected his skills, his formidable nature and no nonsense attitude. He was a great soldier, and she couldn't even imagine what was going on in MacTavish's head. What thoughts were rushing through his mind?

The bird took off, soaring up into the air. Sandman was defeated. He sat onto the seat, sinking down. He couldn't believe they had to abandon Captain Price. MacTavish was squirming, trying to break free off Roach's iron grasp. Phantom went against her rules and dared to do something she shouldn't have.

She cupped the Captain's face and kept telling him to calm down. His wild eyes were still fixated on the closed hatch and yet he didn't dare to tell Phantom to remove her hands from his face. She pleaded with him to calm down, and Roach told him to listen to her. After what seemed like an eternity, his blue eyes found her brown ones and his breathing was getting more and more steady. She slowly withdrew her hands and left to sit down next to Sandman, who was opposite to MacTavish. The rest of the team watched, unable to do much else.

Ghost moved to sit down next to his Captain, feeling equally guilty as he did. They all felt guilty. Now, he had to live not only with the never-ending feeling of survivor's guilt from back in 2011, but this as well. The pain never really went away, and it was made worse by Price's apparent death. Heavy silence fell upon them, different then the one from the beginning. They didn't dare to look each other in the eyes, each of them stared at different sections of the aircraft.

The mission was a disaster, but they wanted to hope they'd catch Kingfish one way or another and avenge Captain Price.


	10. Aftermath

**Chapter 10 - Aftermath**

October was coming to its end, and it seemed everything was getting darker and darker. The days were shorter, the nights longer, the weather colder and the entire Task Force felt as if something was missing. They knew what, or more precisely, who was missing but didn't want or dare to speak about it. By now, everyone had heard what happened in that place, and how one carefully planned operation went horribly wrong. Captain MacTavish couldn't help but once again blame himself. He should have been stronger, faster and more careful. Those are the things he kept telling himself and his usual nightmares gained intensity, now filled with images of his mentor staying behind to defend them from the oncoming enemies.

He forgot what it meant to sleep at all.

He'd lie awake and alone in his bed, staring at the ceiling, contemplating the ways he could have helped Captain Price. He'd trace the scar over his left eye, a bitter reminder of the event, and curse it to no end. They said it could have been worse, and it could have, but this was enough for him. Enough to make him feel bad again and survivor's guilt gnawed at him once more.

The alarm buzzed, forcing him to get up, but he didn't feel like it. MacTavish yawned and managed to pull himself together just enough to stand up. Finally dressed, he walked to the barracks and turned the light on, shouting at the soldiers to wake up. That was what Price usually did, but it was MacTavish's job ever since the older Captain had left.

He heard some of them complain, but he didn't warn them about it. He walked away when he was sure they were all up. As he was leaving, he caught a glimpse of Phantom and he wondered how she dealt with Price being gone. She went silent again, not wanting to speak much anymore. Maybe she was more vocal with Roach, seeing as she hadn't talked much to MacTavish. It didn't sit right with him for some reason, but he brushed it off when he remembered Shepherd was coming to visit again, and he intended to question the Captain about the operation and how it went. The General knew it didn't end well, but he needed details. MacTavish quickened his pace towards the mess hall. He needed a boost before Shepherd's arrival and his inevitable questions.

As she was folding her prized black bandana and placing it on her hairline, Phantom realized 'The Wolf' was visiting the base when she checked the date on the calendar hanging on the wall. She frowned, remembering the last encounter with him. It wasn't very good and she made him angry, which was one of the mistakes that day. Shaking her head, she walked towards Roach. She made a gesture with her head, pointing in the direction of the mess hall, silently asking him to come with her. He agreed and they walked together there. Ghost had already disappeared.

Phantom's thoughts wandered back to Price, and she suddenly remembered her brief 'conversation' with him. It was one instance when they were left alone for a short while, and he glared at her, telling her she was a 'wild card' and that he didn't like that. She didn't understand what he meant by that, and when she asked him to elaborate, he told her he thought she had a problem with authority and he that he didn't know she even became a soldier. He also told her one day she'd go her own way because she was stubborn. Feeling insulted, she retaliated by saying she followed orders and that she was good enough to get into the 'one-four-one', and Price didn't say anything anymore. As he was leaving, he told her to 'mark his words'.

To this day, Phantom doesn't understand what made her a wild card and why. She never spoke of that to anyone. She had no sleep either since the operation. Despite her rather tan complexion, dark circles formed around her eyes, making her appear angry when she'd stare at somebody. In truth, she was just tired, but her neutral expression made her seem as if she was irritated.

At the mess hall, she barely said a word to her dear friend Roach, and as per usual these days, Captain MacTavish sat silently at their table along with Ghost. The mood had dropped as soon as they returned to base that day, each of them feeling horrible. Ever since then, it had not improved much or hardly at all. MacTavish spent a couple of days resting after his ordeal with the rocket, and the scar over his eye had faded ever so slightly, but the medic said it was permanent. It was not as red as it used to be, but it was still visible.

He scratched the back of his neck, and suddenly remembered of his tattoo just slightly below. It was always obscured by his clothes, and it was too low to be seen without pulling the shirt down. He continued eating his meal silently, occasionally looking at his teammates. They all wanted to comfort him, but didn't know what to say. Phantom wanted to express her worry for him, and her desire to help him, but after what she did back in the chopper, she didn't find the courage to. That encounter was stuck in her brain and she regretted ever getting that much close to him, despite him being her friend. She felt her reaction was misplaced, but her Captain never spoke ill of it, nor did her thank her. It didn't really matter.

MacTavish was pulled out his thoughts when he heard one of the Task Force members calling for him, saying General Shepherd had already arrived. It was unusual for a man like Shepherd to arrive so early in the morning, it was barely 6 am. Was this meeting so urgent? Couldn't he have come a bit later? Agitated and tired, MacTavish abandoned his breakfast and stomped away from the table. Roach wanted to get up, but he was stopped by Ghost, who placed his hand on Roach's shoulder. Phantom briefly glanced at MacTavish's plate, noticing how little he actually ate. It was not like him, and she still hadn't got used to this change in him. Nobody truly did.

MacTavish greeted Shepherd. He was carrying something with him.

"You're awfully early."

He remarked, not even caring if he sounded disrespectful. Shepherd knew it was too early in the morning, but he thought he needed to do this as soon as possible. He noticed MacTavish's attitude and the slight hint of disapproval.

"First the Sergeant talking back and now you?"

Shepherd spoke, alluding to Phantom and what happened a few months ago. MacTavish gave it a fleeting thought before focusing on Shepherd and rubbing his eyes.

"I'm sorry, General, it's just...it's been rough."

He said and the older man shook MacTavish's shoulder gently, assuring him it was alright. He then suggested the two go inside and talk properly. MacTavish sighed and took a sit on the chair at the table as Shepherd closed the door. The room itself was poorly lit and filled with various weapons. It didn't bother either of them as the conversation they were about to have was more important. There was already an assault rifle on the table as well as a handgun and a knife. MacTavish stared blankly at them, waiting for Shepherd to say something. The General crossed his arms and leaned against one of the weapon racks. He looked at the younger man for a while, trying to figure him out. The two were in the room in silence, neither making eye contact with one another. After a while, MacTavish decided to unload the magazine from the rifle and fiddle with it. Shepherd watched him empty the magazine and then place bullet by bullet back in it.

"Start from the beginning."

Shepherd commanded with his gruff voice, and MacTavish began the tale as he was loading the bullets. He talked to him about how they met up with the Delta Force team, how they took a picture with them and all until that point in the room with the bomb. That was where he stopped. Shepherd lit a cigar as MacTavish looked at him, telling him it was a trap. Shepherd calmly responded he knew. The Captain didn't even question how he knew that, he remained silent. The General gazed at the lit cigar in his fingers.

"Tell me about Price."

He said to MacTavish. The younger man averted his gaze, looking back at the table. He continued with his story, all until the part where he got knocked out. He paused once more, but Shepherd encouraged him to go on.

"After I came to, I was already inside the chopper," MacTavish spoke, his voice marked by regret and sadness, „I was being held down by my two teammates, they—„

He stopped, taking a deep breath and then exhaling again. Shepherd didn't rush the clearly distraught man.

"They took care of me as I was losing my mind over Price. I reached out my hand as the hatch was shutting but nobody could do anything for him. Not even me."

MacTavish explained. Shepherd was nodding slowly throughout his story, soaking up the information. The Scotsman dropped the magazine he was holding and pushed away from him. He looked up and stared into something in front of him, thinking about it all again. He kept rewinding the scenes in his head, like some sort of a mental tape. He clenched his jaw, trying to focus, but couldn't. Shepherd broke him out of his thoughts, asking him if that was it, sounding surprised.

Suddenly, a wave of anger washed over MacTavish, and he was done with Shepherd and his secrecy. He violently banged his fists on the table.

"Who is Kingfish?!"

He demanded, looking at Shepherd. In response, the older man simply threw a file onto the table. It slid across it and stopped just in front MacTavish. He looked down at it, and saw a picture of Makarov attached to it in the top left corner. He swallowed hard.

_'I should have known...'_

The Captain thought.

"We'll get him."

Shepherd reassured him, trying to boost MacTavish's mood, but it didn't do anything to help him. It only added fuel to the fire. A beast was raging inside of him, and he kept on blaming himself. He knew all too well he shouldn't, and yet he did. One day, he'll feel free. He grabbed the knife from the table, and stabbed the picture of Makarov in his left eye with all his might. Shepherd smiled in satisfaction, thinking MacTavish's reaction was one of determination. When the Captain looked at him, and he saw the fury blazing in his eyes, that was when he realized how MacTavish truly felt. Shepherd's smile dropped and he stepped away from the weapons rack.

"Do you smoke, MacTavish?"

He asked him. MacTavish's facial expression changed almost instantly. He was puzzled, and asked Shepherd why he wanted to know that.

"Just tell me."

Shepherd remarked.

"Yes, I do smoke."

MacTavish responded. Then, Shepherd pulled out a cigar from the pocket on his jacket and handed it over to the Scotsman. He reluctantly accepted it and watched Shepherd pull a lighter out his other pocket, offering to light the cigar. MacTavish refused, saying he'd light it later and the two then left the room. Despite the time, Shepherd didn't mind smoking so early in the morning. MacTavish checked the clock as he was exiting the building and saw the two were in the room for nearly an hour. He spoke some more to Shepherd as latter was boarding the chopper and after a few moments, MacTavish left. He looked at the helicopter gaining altitude and stared at it until it became a black dot in the sky. He examined the cigar and smelled it before deciding to stuff it in his pocket.

The passing Task Force soldiers gazed at their Captain, but he didn't feel like chatting with them or explaining anything just yet. He walked back to the mess hall, finding the trio still there, engaged in a conversation. At least their mood was better, he thought.

MacTavish walked over to their table and sat there, intending to continue eating his breakfast. He briefly looked at each of them, and all of them gave him a knowing smile. He knew Ghost did as well, despite the ski mask. He had them by his side, his teammates, his soldiers, his friends. He wasn't alone.

Smiling weakly, he said;

"Well, that's that."

* * *

 

Night fell quicker than he wanted to admit, and not being able to sleep again, MacTavish decided to step outside. Despite it being the end of October, and the night rather cold, he didn't bother to take a jacket with him. Wearing only his camo pants and a white tank top, he stood in the middle of the yard, right in front of the helipad. He decided to light the cigar he was given. He flipped it around, played with it in his fingers. It was not a Villa Clara, a brand Price smoked and then MacTavish bought a pack two years ago while on a leave. He had to admit Price had taste, as the cigars were very good. Just as he was about to pull out the lighter from his pocket, he heard footsteps behind him.

Turning around slowly, he stared into the person. Who else would it be than Phantom. She stood there with her arms crossed, noticing the cigar he was holding. She slowly shook her head disapprovingly.

"These are bad for you, Captain."

She remarked. It was ironic for her to say, since she was a smoker herself. Although she never smoke cigars, only cigarettes. Despite that, it was still ironic. MacTavish smirked as she walked closer to him, standing beside him.

"I take it you're not a smoker."

He said and she shook her head once more, causing him to raise an eyebrow.

"I am actually."

Phantom said to her Captain, and he proceeded to pull the lighter out of the pocket and light the cigar. Taking a huff, he stared in front of him.

"How are you, sir?"

She asked him, clearly concerned for how things went with Shepherd. She hadn't spoken to him about Price at all, but she decided it was not the day for it. Maybe some other time, when the wounds weren't as fresh. It pained her, too. Phantom never really cared for other people besides herself, but the longer she was with the Task Force, the more she started to open up, trust and care.

Captain MacTavish shrugged, not truly knowing how he felt. He was tired, angry, sad, disappointed and whatnot.

"I'm fine, I guess."

He finally settled on that and asked his companion how she was. She replied the same.

"I've noticed something below the back of your neck. A marking of some kind...is it a tattoo?"

She somewhat casually asked, trying not to think about Price and help MacTavish get his mind off the older Captain as well. He took another huff of his cigar and chuckled nervously. He wasn't exactly proud of his tattoo and most of the time he forgot he had it or at least tried to forget about it.

"You saw it, huh?"

"Yeah, it's only fair you tell me about it."

"I suppose it is."

The two spoke, for the first time in a while as friends. He scratched the back of his neck.

"It's the Ouroboros. Ever seen it?"

He asked her. Truth be told, Phantom couldn't remember if her father ever told her about or not. It sounded like it could be Greek, but she wasn't sure. She knew about Greek mythology, but not everything. She shook her head no.

"It's a snake eating its own tail."

MacTavish explained the tattoo. Phantom nodded, curious to see how it actually looked like. She was surprised at his tattoo of choice, but it was interesting nonetheless. She asked him why he picked that particular one.

"When I was younger, I thought joining the army would help me make a change in the world. But it wasn't so, and I realized that back in 2011, when I got my tattoo done. I was on a leave, recovering and getting stronger. I got it done after I learned what war truly was; nothing but an endless cycle of pain and death."

He told her, and the mood became somber. Phantom looked down at the ground, regretting ever asking about it. MacTavish, as if noticing her distress, decided to elaborate further.

"As soldiers, it's our duty to go through it all, so that others shouldn't suffer. We both know that. My tattoo represents the eternal cycle of destruction and recreation, and so does yours."

Upon hearing that, she looked up at him, her eyes gleaming.

"Immortality, eternity, resurrection...yeah, you're right..."

Phantom spoke, suddenly realizing how similar they truly were. And she was glad he was her friend, and he understood the situation. She was getting tired, and decided to go to sleep. He took a huff of his cigar.

"Sir, I'm going to bed now, maybe you should too. It's late."

She suggested and only got a nod from him. Leaving his side, Phantom was glad she got his mind off certain things, even for a little while. Entering the barracks, she saw Roach writing something in his journal, while the rest were pretty much asleep. He noticed her and greeted her with a wave of his hand and she nodded at him. Throwing herself on the bed and pulling the blanket, she allowed sleep to take her, no matter what she may dream.


	11. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this took longer than expected! Here's the new chapter, MW2 will start in about 10 chapters, and shit will hit the fan after that chapter. It won't be good! Also, in case you want to see how Phantom looks like, I've made a reference sheet and here's the link: https://www.deviantart.com/lucy148/art/Ada-Dimakos-CoD-MW-OC-757479335 (click download for a better view of the image)

**Chapter 11 – Pain**

Rain, rain and even more rain. Those were the first two weeks of February. Missions became more frequent, and the weather didn't seem to change at all. Not that Phantom minded at all, she loved rain. Just looking at it seemed to have calmed her troubled mind, and make her forget the inner turmoil just for a few moments. Despite that, she wasn't the type of a person to run from her problems or refuse to face them. She very much upheld the way she was raised, but even she had to admit she had changed. Sitting on her bed in the barracks at noon, with nothing to do at the base, she delved deep into the past events. She had been with the Task Force for a year now. It was truly a dynamic year, full of ups and downs. Phantom smirked upon remembering her very first day with the 'one-four-one', and the kind of a person she was.

She was very well aware of the fact she came across as an asshole, but gave very little thought or care about it. She wasn't going to please anyone or be friendly to people she didn't want to. But then again, being alone forever wasn't exactly a good choice. So she found a way, and she liked the path she had chosen.

In a way, her time with the Task Force was a journey of self-discovery and bringing back who she used to be. Or at least, small parts of her previous self. The journey itself hadn't stopped. In the past, she was a happy child and loved to joke, but the incident forced her to grow up early, turning her into a bitter, withdrawn teenager bent only on being the best. Her mind was solely focused on that, no matter what.

Her sarcastic nature was ever-present, but only in her thoughts and an occasional snark or chuckle. There was an aura of mystery around her and her two friends barely knew a thing about her. Sometimes, she wondered how did she even have them and she was thankful for the fact they could bring back her happier self.

Ox, her friend and teammate in SAS, was her only real friend with who she never communicated much, as he picked upon her facial expressions and occasional grunts. She did speak, but rarely. Phantom began to open up and break out of her hellish shell when Roach and MacTavish came along. He reminded her of who she used to be, talkative and caring, and she realized she could come back and set her mind free. But, she wasn't quite there yet.

Phantom traced the scar across her left cheek and turned angry. She took a deep breath and exhaled in an effort to forget about it. She glanced outside and noticed the rain had stopped. Feeling like she needed fresh air, she stood up and stepped outside. She stuck her hands into her pockets, searching for the carton of cigarettes she had bought a few days ago during brief time off. Phantom pulled out out the carton and picked a cigarette from it, stuffing it back into her pants pocket. She grabbed the zippo lighter from the other one and flipped it open to light up her cigarette.

Closing the zippo, she took a huff and leaned against the wall, mirroring the pose she did on that fateful day exactly a year ago. The base yard slowly filled with her fellow soldiers, some casually walking, a few of them working on vehicles and choppers. Had she remained the same, she would have looked at them with contempt and annoyance, even complete neutrality, but now she was more relaxed and interested about those around her. It was true some of them were rude and disrespectful when she first arrived, but after a while, and with intervention from both MacTavish and Price, they settled down. Needless to say, the Captains didn't take kindly to any form disrespect. She grew to understand, despite being self-sufficient, one still had to look out for fellow teammates outside of a mission. Their job was highly dangerous, and a person had to be alert at all times.

She spotted Roach and Ghost approaching a jeep. The two of them appeared to be checking its condition. Looking away, she saw Captain MacTavish walking fast with a notepad in his hands, scribbling something on it. She watched him and wondered what he was writing. Vulture was also heading somewhere, but she didn't pay much attention where.

Suddenly her mood dropped. She remembered their fallen Captain, the one and only man by the surname Price. Even though months have passed since Operation Kingfish, and her teammates have finally accepted his death and moved on, she couldn't help but still feel sad. MacTavish and Price knew each other far better, she figured they were like father and son, and she couldn't possibly imagine what was still going on in Captain MacTavish's head.

It was true everyone had felt immensely better, because they knew what kind of a job they were doing, and death was something one had to accept no matter what. Blowing out cigarette smoke, she scratched her forehead with her thumb.

Her train of thought was broken by somebody calling her in the distance, she looked up and saw it was MacTavish, waving his hand. Taking one last whiff, she threw the cigarette on the ground and stomped it before walking away. She quickened her pace and stood straight in front of her Captain, greeting him respectfully.

"You don't seem to be doing anything and I could use some help."

He simply said, looking down at the notepad. Phantom was confused and didn't know what exactly he wanted, but she agreed to help nonetheless. She was no mechanic, she can do small repairs, but nothing big. The two walked to one of the hangars which stored vehicles, mainly jeeps. Seeing her confusion at his lack of clarification, he decided to explain what they would be doing.

"We're running short on ammo, and we've made a deal with Hereford to come pick up crates containing it. Usually, we have it delivered here, but lately it's been different. Ghost is the one who normally comes with me, and since he's busy on that jeep with Roach," he spoke, pointing at the two of them in the distance with his pen, "I decided to take you with me."

MacTavish finished and looked at his companion. She nodded and stepped into the jeep as soon as he did. He handed the notepad to Phantom and she glanced at the list. It wasn't very long, but the shortage of ammo was clear. MacTavish started the jeep and the two drove off. Their trip wouldn't be very long, but initiating conversation didn't seem very appealing to her, even though he was her friend. It was slightly different since he was her superior, and Roach was the same rank as her, but MacTavish never complained about talking to any of them. He was friendly to his teammates, to the people he commanded. It was as if ranks were erased when he'd just sit to talk to them. She found it nice.

She looked out to the dark and gloomy landscape after the heavy rain, and found herself lost in thought again. They were heading to Hereford, and she might catch a glimpse of her old Captain and former teammates, especially Ox. She didn't miss them, but it would be good to see them again, even for a little while. The long silence continued between the two.

After a while, curiosity got the best of MacTavish, and he couldn't help but ask the Sergeant about that long scar on her cheek. He had sustained himself in the past, but now he just felt like he should ask.

"That scar of yours," he began slowly, and she instinctively touched it, turning her head to look at him "may I know how you got it?"

He finally finished, satisfied with the fact he gained enough courage to ask such a personal question. And yet, he was unsure if he made the right choice. Her gaze dropped down and she turned her head once more in the opposite direction, unwilling to look at him. Memories flooded her mind and she struggled to make sense of it all. She tried to find a way to begin the story, and after a while of being completely quiet, she managed to piece together a somewhat coherent tale in her brain.

"If you want to hear a long story, I'll tell you."

She offered and it was good enough for him. He agreed and heard her take a deep breath and exhale before starting. MacTavish noticed that whenever he'd ask her something considered personal, she'd say it was a long story to tell even though it truly wasn't. He briefly wondered if it was because she had never really talked to anyone about it or talk that much at all.

What sort of trauma was inflicted upon her to make her such way? Was it trauma at all or was it by choice? Perhaps it was both, but speculating was pointless because he was about to get his answer.

"When I was a little girl, my sister and my father were my heroes, but primarily my sister. She was always there for me when I needed her during my early childhood. I was scared of the darkness and I would always see a monster staring at me from the corner of my room. I'd call her, and she'd come running, and she'd chase the monster away."

Phantom began and MacTavish listened carefully.

"She was always the light in the dark, and I would rely on her to protect me and stop the monsters and nightmares. Despite her being eleven years older than me, we were inseparable and always together. We were particularly tied to our father who always told us interesting stories from Greek mythology. We even visited Kefalonia, the island where he was born, one time."

She spoke, and the memory of Kefalonia brought a small smile on her face, but MacTavish didn't see it. To her, it was paradise, an unreachable heaven due to her current status. Maybe one day, she'd go back to it, and relive those beautiful and cherished moments of her childhood.

"But things turned sour one day. One day, my sister decided to join the military, it was just after her 18th birthday. At the time, I didn't understand how serious the situation was, and everything became...dark."

Phantom slowly turned her head to look at the road in front of her, getting lost for a few fleeting moments in its curves. She stared blankly at it.

"My father...it was like some monster consumed him after she left. He wasn't the same anymore. He attacked me and my mother several times..."

The sniper explained, and MacTavish's lips slightly parted, now regretting ever asking the question. He quickly apologized, but she brushed him off as politely as she could, continuing her tale;

"My mother protected me each time, taking all the damage on herself. I was afraid of sleeping, and the monster was there and my sister couldn't save me. Right then, I felt that I needed to do something. I needed to take action, but I just couldn't. I didn't know how..."

She spoke.

"When he lashed out again, he took one of the biggest knives again and just as he was going to attack my mother, I stood in front of her, as small as I was, and blocked his path. I yelled at him to stop hurting her, and that was when he actually listened but at a great cost. He slashed at my face with the knife, leaving the scar you see now."

Phantom told her Captain as she traced the scar on her cheek.

"And then, in a matter of seconds, my mother grabbed the knife he held and stabbed him with it..."

MacTavish's heart sank as he heard what she said. He felt truly sorry and horrible for asking. He too, had trauma from his childhood, but it was not as serious or grave as this. His parents fought, but never to this point.

"When it was all over, the trial and everything, that was when I fell into silence. I never wanted to talk about it, but somehow I understood it. My mother became my greatest hero, and she helped me find a way to fight off the monster lurking in my room at night. I was proud of myself for defeating it, and my mother accepted the fact I've chosen silence, she never pressured me to break out of it. It was my own way of dealing with what happened. So there, now you know."

She finished her story, causing him to apologize again and again she brushed it off. He told her how his parents began to lash out and scream at each other at one point, slamming doors and what not and how scared he was back then. But after a while, it subdued and they regretted what they've done.

As he was talking, Phantom seemed to have disconnected from reality, but could faintly hear him speaking. It was as if she had thought her tragedy was greater than his, as if her pain was worse. MacTavish didn't notice her not completely listening to him. He fell silent, and focused on the trip to Hereford.

Soon after, they arrived and drove the jeep to the hangar containing the ammo crates designated to the Task Force 141. They met with a pair of SAS operators who led them inside and showed them the crates. Phantom and MacTavish began to load the crates into the jeep and after a few minutes, they were done. Thanking the SAS operators, they left and journeyed back to the base. During their trip, MacTavish said something which made Phantom snap to reality and stay there.

"I guess we're just as broken as Ghost."

Somehow Phantom figured he wasn't just referring to his own childhood, but what happened back a few years ago. Although what happened to Ghost, was a total mystery to her.

"Why do you dislike him?"

He casually asked, not knowing why she avoided any type of friendly contact with Ghost.

"Sir, do you think it's easy to carry a nickname very similar to the person you've been forced to be like?

Her tone was cold, and he knew that was another subject he shouldn't have brought up, but did anyway. He didn't fully understand what she meant by her statement.

"What do you mean?"

He asked and heard her sigh before speaking again.

"Before I joined SAS, I had no nickname. Little did I know of Ghost's legendary status there. Even my former Captain admired him so much, he kept telling us to be like Ghost in almost every aspect. I liked my Captain, but this was something I didn't approve of."

She began and MacTavish was listening carefully.

"I became jealous of Ghost, I wanted to be as great as him. So I worked hard, but at the same time, I began hating him more and more. His nickname kept echoing both in my head and throughout my time with SAS. My teammates noticed my hatred of him, which I never vocally expressed, and they chose a nickname with the meaning as close as his. Basically the same, actually."

She spoke, and her tone gradually became more and more bitter.

"I wanted to believe they called me that because I kept disappearing whenever there was free time, and maybe, just maybe, it was partially because of that as well. I tolerate him now, mainly because he's my teammate and Roach's friend."

Phantom finished, recalling the past events.

"I had a nickname too, you know."

MacTavish remarked, finally understanding the reason why she wasn't close to Ghost. He smirked at the thought of his own nickname.

"Really, sir?

"Yes, they called me Soap."

MacTavish told her, making her smile a little bit. It was a strange nickname and it didn't really suit a man like him. She wanted to ask why he got it, but something told her not to. Before they knew it, Soap and Phantom were close to the base.


	12. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's the new chapter. This one is short, but the next few will be pretty long. I'll upload them within the next few days.

**Chapter 12 – Revelations**

As March crept in, so did many troubled thoughts in Phantom's mind. She would stay up late, even though she shouldn't and reminiscence about her entire life - her feelings, past events, her family, her friends, all flew through her mind and left their own unique mark almost every night. Although one particular thought messed with her and she couldn't get it out; couldn't even figure out what was even happening to her.

Just like the previous ones before, this night was the same. Her was lying on her bed, on her side, while most of her comrades slept. Some were reading, some were whispering and others, like Roach, were writing something. Try as she could, she couldn't fall asleep and one man invaded her mind. He just wouldn't leave.

_'Why do I keep thinking about MacTavish?'_

The unanswered question which kept gnawing at her. She couldn't place her finger on why exactly she felt instantly better when she saw him and why, of all people, did he match her? He was a fellow sniper and equally broken man, even sharing facial scars on the same side. She felt sympathy for him and she knew even now, he still had regret on what happened to Price. They had both lost so much, and yet they kept going, every day stronger and stronger. He had the Ouroboros and she had the Phoenix, two symbols different but similar in meaning.

Could it all be a coincidence? She hoped so, because he wasn't just her friend, he was her Captain. But if he was only that, why was she thinking of him so much? She would catch herself smiling as he'd pass, silently observing him. But as soon as she'd notice her dumb smile, it would instantly drop and she would pretend nothing had happened.

What was happening to her? Throughout her life, she had been led by her own logical and rational mind, never dropping her guard to show emotion. She liked it that way, it kept her safe and away from unnecessary contact or irrelevant people. Only one person had ever managed to penetrate Phantom's concrete walls built around her heart, but that person had proven herself to be malicious and ill-tempered. She left Phantom heartbroken. That was many years ago, and she had long forgotten about it as well.

Ever since she got into the Task Force, the ice inside her had melted away, and she allowed herself to make friends, and for the first time in forever, she felt something other than pride, vanity and bitterness. She felt like her old self again. It was liberating and she wished she had shown herself kindness sooner. But Phantom chose her path as she saw fit, and despite regrets, she was still alive and well.

She mentally went through her 'symptoms' as if she had some sort of disease. They all pointed to one thing she feared happened to her; she fell in love.

That was why she felt so damn happy when she'd see him and smile like a complete fool. That was why she longed just to speak to him and hear his deep voice rumble through the air. That was why she wanted to hug him and hold him through his nightmares, and to soothe her own. That was why she wanted to comfort him and spend any spare time with him.

_'No! Stop!'_

She commanded herself, stopping anymore thoughts about him from rushing through her brain.

Phantom fell for the last person she should have and it gave her little peace. She refused to acknowledge it, saying to herself she was wrong. Deep inside though, it was the opposite. It was so wrong, she should stop herself from feeling such a thing. Never in her life had she acted upon impulse, relying only on thinking everything through. In spite of that, she was still her analytical self, taking everything in before going somewhere or doing something. She wouldn't allow herself to let her feelings control her. He was a Captain, she was a Sergeant and such a thing was not approved. Especially considering the fact she was a woman, and showing any slight hint of romantic interest would surely make her plunge back to the bottom. She wouldn't allow that. She had worked too hard to be where she was now.

She did enjoy all the talks she had with him, or just sitting close to him. Even she could admit such a thing. Being in the company of people who truly cared was a luxury she denied herself ever since she had been very young. Soap and Roach were her closest friends. Her only friends to be more precise and they were more than enough for her. She began to care for others, not just herself, and she always hoped no major harm would ever befall them, even in their line of work.

So she decided her course of plan; listen to the brain and ignore the heart. She didn't have other plans, and telling him was out of the question. She was a soldier, not some teenager with raging hormones. One more question lingered however; how long would she able to supress what she felt? How long until she stopped denying it and face the truth?

Her moral code had been what her mother had taught her, and of the values was to stay true to herself and follow her goals. She indeed followed her goals, and found herself exactly where she wanted to be, but at a great cost. Her strict moral code had been shaken ever since she accepted Roach as a friend, and Soap as well. She felt like she was failing herself, and her mother's teachings, but she had always done things her way. She began to contradict herself, but she figured it was only natural.

From the corner of her eye, she noticed Roach closing his journal and turning to the other side. It was some sort of unspoken rule for her to go to sleep after he was done scribbling. Ghost had been long asleep, and she wondered if Soap was asleep too. She wanted to get up just to check outside if he was there, but she stopped herself.

_'Oh no, you're not going anywhere. Sleep now.'_

She told herself and squeezed her eyes shut, chasing Soap out of her brain. When he finally left, and all that remained was empty darkness, she fell asleep.


	13. Home

**Chapter 13 – Home**

_April 11th, 2014_

 

It seemed like forever since she had last seen her family. Her beloved mother, the hero she had been looking up to since she saved her and her older sister, Cassandra, who is a retired soldier. The two used to be very close, but their relationship deteriorated over the years. Phantom hoped that one day they could rekindle what they used to have. She was trying hard to do that. They both have, but something was missing and they couldn't quite figure out what. Cassandra was also married with a son who Phantom loved a lot. He reminded her of who she used to be as a child - carefree, talkative and happy.

Being on leave felt liberating and it felt even better since it was Soap's birthday the next day, promising he would take his comrades out for a pint or two. Roach was the most enthusiastic one out of all, and none of them were surprised.

"So where are you taking us, Captain?"

Roach asked, earning a chuckle from Soap. His birthday didn't mean a whole lot to him, but his teammates remembered and made sure they would celebrate one way or another. It gave Soap a warm feeling. He glanced at the smiling Phantom and his heart skipped a beat.

"I've already told you, we're all gonna go to a certain pub in Glasgow. Had a great time there back in the past."

Soap clarified, reminding them all of the plan they had made earlier. For the first day, they could go wherever they so pleased, but for the following day, he gave them instructions to be at the specified place at the arranged time. Luckily for all of them, they all lived in England, and Soap was the only one who lived in Scotland. Roach, Ghost and Phantom made a deal of driving there together, seeing as Ghost lived in Manchester, whilst Roach and Phantom resided in London. Nobody really knew of Ghost's past and why Manchester didn't feel like his home city anymore. Not even Roach dared to ask about his sudden change in demeanor.

Instead, Roach attempted to cheer up his mate by teasing him and promising him next time they'd go where ever he wanted. The blonde man managed to bring out a laugh from Ghost and his blue eyes visibly lit up. He knew Roach only had the best intentions and he somehow got him out of his bad mood. Ghost was always thankful for that, but rarely said anything about it. The team then made a final deal before parting ways.

Phantom and Roach would take his car tomorrow morning and drive to Manchester to pick up Ghost. After that, they would head for Glasgow. If all went as planned, they would arrive in Glasgow by 1400, therefore giving them enough time to buy something for their Captain and even see the sights.

The team went their separate ways, all of them heading home.

* * *

When Phantom arrived back to Ilford in East London, she felt absolutely relieved and at peace. First things first, she went back home where her mother lived. The neighborhood was a typical English one, with semi detached houses lined up next to each other. Almost all of them were the same size and each of them had small gardens behind the house. Phantom enjoyed gardening, it was one of her secret hobbies. Memories, good and bad, washed over her as she was walking towards the front door, duffel bag held in one hand.

She rang the doorbell, and anxiously waited for her mother to answer it, her heart beating fast. A smile appeared on Phantom's face as she heard her mother's footsteps getting louder and louder. The woman hesitated at the door, checking who it was through the peephole. Phantom wanted to just say it was her, but before she could, the door flew open and she was immediately pulled into a tight hug. Phantom dropped her duffel bag to the ground from the sudden action.

Her mother squeezed her tightly and Phantom returned the hug, embracing her in return. The two stood in silence, just holding each other as if one of them would disappear if either let go.

"Ada..."

Her mother, Elizabeth, whispered softly. How happy she was to see her daughter again after what seemed like an eternity to her. Despite Phantom's age, Elizabeth still worried about her, as any mother would. But she eventually got used to having two daughters as soldiers, even if one of them had retired. She loved them both greatly and was prepared to do anything for them. Realizing how long they had been standing by the door, Elizabeth broke the hug to look at her daughter. The two gazed at each other and Phantom saw how time took a toll on her already quite old mother. Her hair had completely greyed, and new wrinkles appeared on her face. In her youth, she was a beautiful woman, and to Phantom, she still was. That was when Phantom saw the tears forming in Elizabeth's eyes and her smile fell.

Her mother cupped her face as Phantom held onto her wrists. She shook her head slowly.

"Mother, don't cry. I'm alright."

The sniper reassured her crying mother and she smiled widely. Elizabeth nodded, agreeing with Phantom's statement. She truly was alright, if she wasn't, she wouldn't stand right in front of her. She raised both of her daughters well, and she had faith in their strength. Both sisters had faith in their own strength and believed in themselves. If it hadn't been for their mother's love and devotion, they wouldn't be the women they have become.

Elizabeth dropped her hands from her daughter's face and waved her hand, signaling her to come inside the house. Phantom hesitated, still looking at her mother as she was wiping away her tears of joy.

"Come, dear. I'm fine."

It was her turn to reassure her daughter. Phantom asked if she truly was, to which Elizabeth replied the same. With that, the soldier entered the house looking around as if she had never seen it before. The door closed behind Phantom as she gazed onto a wall, her face relaxing and her lips curved up in a gentle smile. She felt calm, and the sense of tranquility traveled through her entire body like a cool wave. She welcomed the feeling.

Elizabeth approached her daughter.

"Are you tired? Want to eat something?"

She asked her, and Phantom looked at her. She wasn't hungry, only tired, but she wanted to speak with her mother, not sleep. She would have plenty of time to sleep later. She shook her head, indicating her refusal of any food or rest. For the time being.

"No, I just want to talk. That's all."

Phantom spoke. Elizabeth raised her eyebrows high up and her head was tilted to the side, expressing her surprise at her daughter's statement. Talk? That wasn't like her Ada. She used to be very vocal and talkative as a child, but it all changed when the incident with her father happened. That was when she grew quiet and withdrawn. Talking wasn't what she did much, only a little bit. For years, Elizabeth tried to break Ada out of her shell, but she saw there was nothing she could do but give her love and support nonetheless. She accepted Ada's change and kept instilling her with the moral code she already planted in her eldest daughter. Loyalty, bravery, determination and heels on the ground were the values she both taught them.

_'Be who you are, and stay true to yourself, be consistent in your goals and follow them.'_

That was what she would always remind both of them, but to Ada who was more affected by her father's death in a negative way (or what Elizabeth had seen as a negative way), she also said;

_'A Phoenix always rises from the ashes'_

A statement which sank deep into Phantom's brain and what led her to tattoo a Phoenix on her upper left arm.

Snapping back to reality, Elizabeth accepted Phantom's offer to talk, but she told her to change out of her uniform and leave her duffel bag in her room before they began. Phantom listened and did as she was told. The soldier walked up the stairs into her room. Opening the door, she saw it hadn't changed at all. Her bed was made, it was clean and her record player still sat in the corner with the records leaned onto it.

Phantom bobbed her head as if to a rhythm of a song, whispering 'neat' to herself. She placed the duffel bag next to her bed and pulled out some clothes out of the closet. A loose shirt and trainer pants which she smelled prior to wearing them. They appeared to be freshly washed, as if her mother knew she was coming.

After a few minutes, she headed back down to her mother, who was sitting on the couch in the living room, staring at the black screened TV. Phantom let out a sigh and entered the room.

"Hey."

She greeted her mother and sat down next to her. Elizabeth smiled weakly and watched her daughter struggle to find words as they sat in silence. Phantom didn't know where to begin, as she had never actually opened up to her own mother. It was such an alien concept to her, but she would find a way. She rubbed her palms together and took a deep breath, exhaling after a few seconds. Phantom's eyes found Elizabeth's.

"I know I've come here unexpectedly," the soldier began slowly, paying close attention to the changes in her mother's expression, "and I also know I've been a difficult person. I want to apologize for that."

She finished, her voice full of regret and her tone soft. Elizabeth placed her hand on Phantom's knee and squeezed it slightly. Her daughter finally began to open up, and she figured it was better late than never. Phantom paused again, searching for things to say and how to say them.

"I've made good friends and forsaken one who I had to leave. I haven't seen him in a year and I don't know how he's doing."

Phantom explained, alluding to Ox, a man who her mother didn't know, but guessed he was her fellow soldier. The sniper saw the confusion on her mother's face and decided to clarify.

"He was my teammate back in SAS and the only person who was able to put up with my nature. With my...silence..."

She added the last sentence with hesitation and uncertainty. Phantom knew she had changed, slowly becoming who she used to be. Or more accurate, returning to her previous self. Change was a natural part of life, and both of them understood that. That was one of the reasons her mother didn't pressure her to speak or act differently. Patience was another virtue Phantom inherited from her mother. A part of Phantom remained the same while the other part reverted back to who she was. It was difficult to explain, but she'd try nonetheless.

"I've changed, but also stayed the same...it's hard to explain properly."

The scarred soldier spoke, hoping her mother would understand and she did. Elizabeth scooted closer to Phantom and moved her hand from her daughter's knee to her shoulder. She nodded.

"I understand, my dear daughter. It is only natural for you to be influenced by your friends. We've all been there, so have I. And I know what you mean by saying you stayed the same. You still have your own personality which will remain unchanged. Do you know which part that is?"

Her mother spoke, and Phantom dwelled on her question for a bit. She finally realized what exactly happened to her and who she really was. She was simply Phantom, as shaped by herself, her mother, circumstances and with the help of her friends, and by her past self. She was who she was meant to be, part new and part old. It took her such a long time to see that and to feel free. Free. Was she truly free? She was still tainted by her mistakes, and still suffered for it, but was on her way towards redemption and a better life.

"Yes, I know which part that is. Who I became with your teachings. Loyalty, bravery, determination, dig heels in and patience. That's me..."

"Yes, but you are also returning-"

"To who I used to be."

She cut off her mother and absentmindedly nodded.

"Yeah, my past self has returned. It feels good to be finally embracing that part as well."

Phantom told Elizabeth and the two shared a look of mutual compassion and understanding. After years and years in silence, she accepted the buried part of her. One buried beneath layers of blind ambition, anger, withdrawal and pushing people away. But one positive thing surfaced from that; she moved forward. She didn't stop her life, she made it what she wanted it to be. She changed, that was true, but she found out she couldn't just forsake a whole part of her.

After that, the two hugged and Phantom asked how Cassandra was.

"She's good. Will you visit her?"

"I was thinking about it...maybe we could invite her here if she's free?"

"That's a good idea, she hasn't been here in a while. I'll give her a ring."

Mother and daughter exchanged and then the former stood up to call Cassandra. The conversation was short and Phantom listened as much as she could. She wanted to see her sister again and hoped she'd accept their invitation. Elizabeth hung up and informed Phantom Cassandra would come. This made her smile and the two then decided to make lunch before Cassandra arrived with her family. Phantom wasn't surprised her mother was already prepared with the ingredients, it was almost as if she had sixth sense. Another trait the two sisters shared with their mother.

"So what are we making?"

* * *

An hour and a half later, the lunch was done and all that was missing was the Koslov family. Cassandra married a Russian man named Sergei Koslov, with who she had a son named Jacob. Supposedly, Sergei and his twin sister Viktoria were grandchildren of a certain Russian sniper named Vasili Koslov. The man was hailed a hero during World War 2 and he was originally from Moscow. But having lost almost everything in the war, he met his lady love just after it, and had a son with her. The son was Sergei's father.

The family, although poor, made do and raised their son well, but whatever fortune he made, he squandered it. His reputation as a spendthrift made it difficult for him to have any true friends, much less find a wife. His parents pressured him into marriage, no matter what. He did get married eventually and had twins, Viktoria and Sergei, who he had to send away as young adults due to their poor income. He didn't wish them to be like him, and luckily for him, they weren't. They made good lives in England and Sergei met Cassandra.

Phantom liked Sergei no matter how little she visited and loved her 8 year old nephew dearly. Cassandra once mentioned to Phantom Jacob looked up to her, just as Phantom once looked up to Cassandra. In truth, she had never stopped looking up to older sister and to their mother as well. She considered them to be the real heroes, unlike her father, who she mistakenly held as her hero as a child.

The Koslov family arrived, and Phantom decided to be the one to greet them.

"Auntie!"

She was instantly attacked by her nephew and she picked him up. Cassandra was surprised but glad to see her sister. Despite their distance, they still loved each other. Phantom welcomed them inside and told them to sit at the table. Seeing her entire family in one place made both Phantom and Elizabeth extremely happy.

The two sisters hadn't exactly interacted much during the lunch, seeing as they weren't on good terms as they used to be. Phantom wanted to be close to her sister as she used to be but no matter how much she tried, Cassandra was still closed off. Maybe in time, she would lower her guard.


	14. Dangerous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! I wanted to write something where the team has some fun before everything goes wrong later. They just can't catch a break. Anyway, reviews are greatly appreciated! I also want to thank the people who have left kudos on this story. Thank you so much, it means a lot to me!

**Chapter 18 – Dangerous**

_April 12th, 2014_

The alarm clock buzzed at 7:00 am. Phantom groaned and opened her eyes, feeling as if she could smash it to pieces. It was the most annoying sound in the world and she absolutely loathed it, but never made the effort of buying a new one. This one held some sort of nostalgic value, just like her old record player that worked surprisingly well. The tired and sleepy sniper bashed her hand on the alarm clock, trying to stop its sound. She finally did it and rolled onto her back, realizing how sleeping longer made her even more tired. As a soldier, she became used to rising really early and this didn't help her situation.

Getting up from her bed and stretching, she decided to put on some music as she was getting dressed. But she wondered why on Earth was her alarm set up for 7:00? She wrecked her brain, trying hard to remember what important thing was hanging somewhere in the back of it. She walked to the record player and put on her most precious (and most expensive) record; Electric Ladyland by The Jimi Hendrix Experience. Adjusting the needle and the volume, she watched the vinyl spin for a while before leaving the room to brush her teeth.

As music played and she was brushing her teeth, she remembered what important thing made her wake up. It was the second day of her leave and Soap's birthday. Which meant...she had to be at Roach's in an hour! She cursed her forgetful brain and picked up the pace. She ran back to her room faster than the speed of light and violently opened her closet.

_'Shit, shit, shit, shit!'_

She cursed mentally and finally found something decent. Tight black pants, a black tank top and a white leather jacket. She almost forgot to put on new underwear. Phantom thanked her coordinance for not allowing her to do any of that sloppy. Perks of being a soldier for many years, but not even extensive training could help her forgetful nature. Tying her curly hair in a high ponytail but leaving her bandana, she flew down the stairs. Halfway down, she remembered the record player was still on. Cursing again, she went back up to turn it off.

"Sleep, Jimi!"

She told the inanimate object and removed the vinyl, placing it in its cover. Then, she saw a sticky note on the wall next to the record player. It was Roach's address. Why did she place it there? She shook her head, took it and ran back down. Phantom found her mother in the kitchen and explained the situation in a hurry.

"HeymomIhavetogotoWestLondontopickupmyfriendbye!"

Phantom spoke putting on her brown flat boots (knowing full well running in heels wasn't a good idea), then she grabbed the car keys and flew out of the front door. She left her mother confused and she only picked up a few words such as "West London" and "friend". Trying to piece it together as a jigsaw puzzle, Elizabeth concluded her daughter had to go visit a friend in West London. Also considering the fact she left in a hurry, she was either late or had to get there in a certain amount of time. Knowing her daughter, it was most likely the second option. Elizabeth checked the clock on the wall. It was 7:10.

Elizabeth remembered Phantom saying something of a birthday happening today and she had to go to...Glasgow? What? That didn't make sense. Whatever it was, Phantom was gone and Elizabeth hoped she'd have a good time and arrive in time. She heard car tires screeching as her daughter sped off with the car. Elizabeth shook her head.

* * *

London traffic was always busy, and this time was no different. Time didn't matter, there was always somebody who pissed you off on the road. Phantom refused to get angry, and remained calm, even under the pressure of time. She knew she'd be late, but that wasn't really important. The truly important thing was arriving in Glasgow and getting something nice for Soap. But what exactly? She hoped Roach and Ghost had an idea.

Phantom managed to arrive in West London in around 35 minutes, meaning she wasn't late to Roach's house. She double checked the sticky note. She found the right place. Turning off the car, she exited and approached the door. Phantom rang the doorbell and didn't have to wait long for Roach. He opened the door quicker than she thought, almost as if he was standing next to it even before she got there. He greeted his friend with a big smile and invited her in.

As she entered the house, she asked him if anyone else was in it, to which he said his mother had left while his father was still there, but sleeping. Closing the door, he said he'd leave them a note, even though he had already informed them.

"Just a minute."

He said, writing down where he went on a piece of paper and settled it on a small stand located next to the front door. Roach asked her if she'd like to eat or drink something before they went to pick up Ghost, and she politely declined. With nothing else to do, the two left the house and sat in Phantom's car, heading to Manchester.

"You know where he lives?"

She asked.

"I do, but I've never been there."

"Alright then, what's the address?"

The two exchanged and Roach gave her the necessary info.

* * *

Roach and Phantom arrived in Manchester in around 3 hours and managed to navigate to Ghost's house. When they drove up to it, they found him already standing outside, waiting for them. The sight of him without his ski mask surprised Phantom. She had never seen him without it. He had short dark hair and pale complexion, and not a single scar. Not an ugly man in any way, in fact quite good looking, but she knew whose looks she preferred. Just thinking about _him_ gave her a strange sensation in her stomach.

Ghost walked up to them and sat in the back seat.

"Cheers, mate! Have you been waiting long?"

Roach spoke gleefully, looking at his friend. Ghost shook his head.

"No, just got outside, figured you'd be here soon."

He replied and Roach turned back to look in front of him. Truth be told, Ghost was rather eager to leave, as his family was still on unstable ground despite his efforts, especially his brother. But he wouldn't give up on them just like that. The trio then headed to Glasgow, hoping they'd arrive as soon as possible. Suddenly, somebody's stomach growled. Roach and Ghost exchanged looks, while Phantom turned bright red with embarrassment.

"Sorry, that was me."

She said through a smile. Roach assured her it was fine and suggested to go eat once they arrive. Having accepted the offer, she focused on the road.

* * *

The trip to Glasgow lasted around 3 and a half hours, and it was filled with awkward silence, but also with laughter, conversations and planmaking. Roach gave his teammates an idea what to buy for their Captain, a new journal signed by them. They noticed a few times MacTavish was writing in it, and since Roach had one of his own, it seemed like a good idea. The trio decided on it, and once Phantom found a decent spot to park, they began their hunt for the 'perfect notebook'.

The city itself was enormous and foreign to the trio. They were on new turf, and they knew how certain Scottish people don't take too kindly to the English. It was one of the things neither of them could fully understand. Getting lost in such a city wasn't a good thing at all, and they couldn't figure out where to go.

"We need a map."

Phantom suggested at which Ghost waved his hand, declining her offer.

"No good, we should ask somebody for direction."

His counter statement slightly irritated her, but she allowed it to go his way. He also asked her why didn't she bother to install a GPS device to her car, but she didn't say anything. Their phones had no internet either, so checking the web was out of the question. Three people, and not a single one had internet connection. Roach looked between the two, and approached a slow waking couple carrying bags.

"Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to Buchanan street? I need to buy something."

He politely asked the couple as Ghost and Phantom stood and watched. The man smiled widely, and explained how to reach downtown, the Buchanan street, in an extremely thick Scottish accent. Roach had to stop himself from contorting his face upon hearing the man's accent. The blonde soldier somehow managed to pick up the words and piece them together. He thanked them and left.

_'Thank God our Captain doesn't sound like that.'_

He thought. Ghost and Phantom eagerly awaited his response. He mumbled out the words, not wanting to admit he didn't fully understand the man. Ghost noticed it, but said nothing.

"Alright, let's head back to the car."

Phantom told them and the two followed her. She drove the car downtown with Roach's help. Parking it, they once again exited it, and entered one of the stores. Browsing through the different notebooks, Phantom picked up a small and white one with a thin gold lines formed into a square around the edges. She smiled, as the notebook had her two favorite colors, white and gold. She suggested it to Roach and Ghost, and the two seemed pleased with it. The fact they agreed to it made her even happier and she wondered if Soap would like it.

"That was fast!"

Roach remarked, patting Ghost's shoulder.

"Yes, but now what? We have to be at the pub at 8:00 and we still have five hours until then."

Ghost asked, not knowing what to do with himself for the remaining time. Not only that, but with their sense of direction, they'd probably get lost on their way to the pub. Phantom didn't like the situation, mainly because the plan wasn't exactly solid. And she was still hungry as well.

"I don't know about you two," she began, dropping the smile and putting on a serious face, "but I bloody well would like to eat something."

The sniper told them, and they agreed to her offer, despite neither of them being particularly hungry. Roach had completely forgotten about a few hours ago when her stomach growled and he was the one who told her to eat. The trio paid for the notebook and a pen to go along with it, and thanking the cashier, they left the store. Strolling through the Buchanan street, they finally managed to find a fast food restaurant and eat. Before they dug into their meals, they opened the notebook signed it, wishing their Captain a happy birthday. Phantom's own birthday was two months away, and maybe this year she'd get a call from her sister as she didn't last year. Or at least a letter. The Task Force truly did earn their rest, even if it was just for a short while.

After they were finished, they decided to walk around a little bit, visit more shops and just look around. Before they knew it, it was was time to head to the pub. But not before Roach spotted a large map on display, and checked it out. He tried to remember the street where it was located. He felt the presence of his two mates behind him.

"What was the pub called?"

"Old Toll Bar."

"And where—"

"One Paisley Road West."

"Right…"

Roach and Ghost exchanged, and Phantom smirked at how Roach was forgetful at times like she was. Having located them on the map, Roach remarked how it was pretty far away. He took a photo of it with his phone, intending on giving instruction to their designated driver Phantom. The trio had an hour to get there.

* * *

By the time they've managed to arrive, find the pub and park, they were already fifteen minutes late. Walking to towards it, they spotted a man standing in front of it, sporting black pants and a leather jacket. He waved at them. It was none other than Soap. Phantom's palms began to sweat and she hurriedly wiped them off on her trousers.

"Good day Captain!"

The ever so cheerful Roach greeted Soap. Each of the trio wished him a happy birthday before Roach handed him the notebook, telling him it was Phantom who personally picked it. She glared at Roach telling him he wasn't supposed to say that. Ghost chimed in, telling his Captain they all picked it and that they all agreed on the present itself, and that Roach was simply joking. Nonetheless, MacTavish thanked them and opened it, seeing their signatures and their birthday wishes. He smiled fondly and once more thanked his friends and teammates. For a short while, he completely forgot who he was, and decided to just enjoy the moment.

Soap looked at Phantom, his eyes shining with a gleam she had last seen when they were driving to Hereford. It made his eyes even more beautiful, but she didn't allow herself to think no more of it. She realized what state she was in, but shouldn't make it obvious. The Captain instructed them to follow him inside the pub, entering through the right door. The place seemed like a nice place to just sit and relax. Music was playing, but Phantom couldn't make out which song it was. Roach was nodding in satisfaction, admiring the place. It was not large, but it was big enough. They saw circular tables with chairs to their left, and a booth to their right. In front of them was the counter. Soap led them to the tables and they found an empty one.

Removing their jackets and hanging them on the chairs, they began to discuss what to drink. Phantom enjoyed whiskey, but decided to go for an ale, just like the rest did. They were talking about all sorts of things, trying to get their minds off of certain things. It was the first time in a while Ghost smiled. It was fun until the drinks arrived. Phantom couldn't help but stare at Roach, who was a lightweight, immediately down the entire glass. Soap and Ghost were surprised as well.

"I thought you were a lightweight."

"I am!"

"Then what did you just do? And why?"

"I, uh, I don't know...I was thirsty."

Roach and Phantom exchanged, and she rolled her eyes. She had a feeling he was about to get drunk, and that she'd have to carry him to the car. Driving at night, especially after drinking a bit, was a bad thing to do, and they also needed to find a motel to sleep in. Soap chuckled, while Ghost shook his head and was as annoyed as Phantom was.

"So where are you going to stay?"

Soap asked them.

"A motel, hopefully."

Ghost responded, drinking from his glass. Roach had already began to feel sick from his bad decision, but he nonetheless poured the rest of his bottle into his glass. Phantom wanted to take it away, but realized she couldn't deny him to have a good time. So she let him drink it, knowing well enough he'd regret it later. He was old enough to know it himself, but didn't care at all.

"You could stay at my house, if you want."

Soap offered, and Phantom simply shook her head as did Ghost.

"Come on, you came all this way just for me. It's the least I can do!"

"No, it's okay, you don't want Roach in this state in your house. Thank you for the offer, though."

Ghost told his Captain, and Soap couldn't help but feel as if he had failed them as a friend. They drove from England all the way to Glasgow, and staying at some motel didn't seem like a good idea to him. His house was spacious, and despite the fact he was living with his parents, they wouldn't mind them. He was rarely at home anyway, as was most of the Task Force. Tomorrow was their last day on the leave, and Phantom wanted to spend more time with her mother, feeling they needed to talk more.

Soap reminded them his offer still stands, and seeing how Roach's state was getting worse and worse, Phantom and Ghost had to reconsider, even though it was still a bad idea in their mind.

"You're our Captain, it doesn't seem right."

Phantom told him, avoiding eye contact. She could feel his eyes on her and she refused to meet them. He chuckled.

"I'm your friend as well, and yes, even if I'm your Captain, it's my duty to see you all safe. I've got plenty of space to go around, don't feel bad."

He spoke. Ghost looked at Phantom, and the two didn't really know what to make of it.

"No, we're sorry, but we have to decline."

Ghost said, still sticking on his decision to check in a motel. Soap didn't pressure them anymore. Before they knew it, Roach was done with his second glass, and he already had a strange look on his face. His eyes widened, as if he was trying to see clearly. He leaned in his seat.

"You know what I don't get about you, Phantom?"

He spoke, trying not to sound too drunk. Surprisingly singly, his words weren't slurred and he spoke almost like a sober man. She raised her eyebrows at what he said.

"Your name is English, but your surname isn't. Your accent is English as well, what's up with that? You've never told me that."

He asked her, wanting to know about her heritage. Roach was right, she never said where he surname originated from, at least not to him. Soap knew it, but Roach and Ghost didn't.

"Well, my father was Greek and my mother English. He moved to London because of her and there they had my sister and me. My mother is a native Londoner, and she speaks with a Cockney accent, but she started using Received Pronunciation with my father who didn't understand English all too well. So, there you go."

She explained as briefly as possible, leaving the details on her true name. Roach covered his mouth with his hand to stop himself from vomiting. The trio noticed his horrible state, and Ghost decided to take him outside for some fresh air.

"Okay, that's enough, let's go. Come on."

Ghost coaxed Roach into leaving with him, taking him by his arms and steering him through the door they came from. As soon as they were outside, Phantom looked Soap and shook her head, disappointed at her teammate's behaviour.

"He'll be fine, don't worry."

Soap assured her, and she hoped he was right. To break the silence, Soap reminded her of that time she agreed on him on his music taste as they were in the helicopter. She told him she loved psychedelic rock and soul music the best, and Soap cited some his favorite bands, and one of them were the Doors, which were also Phantom's. They began talking about music and he told her liked to play guitar, but that he couldn't sing. She told him of her record collection, and so they talked as the two were outside.

Then, silence fell once again. Her eyes fell on the half empty glass, unaware he was still gazing at her. The air was getting heavy with intensity, and both of them knew it. Something unspoken hung between them, making them nervous. They somehow knew they had the same thing on their mind. She rose her eyes to meet his and she found him looking at her with his head slightly tilted down.

She found herself enjoying his company more and more, and he felt the same. But the silence was getting unbearable, the two weren't coming back, and Soap had to know. He had to and so did she, even though they were both nervous and afraid.

Two hardened soldiers, scared of each other. She felt powerless and hated it. Phantom yearned for control, and tried very hard to maintain it. But the uncertainty was killing her, and she had to contain herself. She steadied her breathing. Her heart was messing with her mind, and so did his. It shouldn't have happened, but it did. He was still thinking and weighing his options. Say or don't say...

She gave him a slight smile to try to ease him up. Suddenly, he rose his head higher and leaned onto the table with his forearms. She looked at him, bewildered. Phantom's smile dropped.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

He asked her, and she didn't know if she would like his question or not. She nodded, allowing him to continue.

"You ever had someone in your life? Like...you know what I mean?"

Soap said rather nervously, tugging at his white t-shirt, trying to get the conversation to flow again and mainly because he needed to know. Phantom understood what he was trying to say. She smirked.

"A long time ago," she began, looking away, "I had somebody who didn't mind me talking so little. We broke up, I wasn't even 18 yet. You know the rest."

Phantom told him, and memories of her ex-girlfriend suddenly rushed through her head. She had good times with her and bad times, and it took her awhile to realize she was better off without her. Soap nodded.

"Do you have someone?"

She asked him even though she shouldn't have, but he asked first. He shook his head and the strange feeling in her stomach appeared once again. Was it excitement or nervousness? She didn't truly know.

"I used to, but we broke up when I joined the military. She said she could never handle something like that. I've never found anyone else."

He told her and she suddenly felt disheartened when she heard him say he hadn't found anyone else. She looked down at the table, hiding her eyes which betrayed sadness and disappointment. She was wrong as was the whole situation. So what? She'd get over it, forget it and continue as if she had felt nothing in the first place. The mind would prevail, as it should be.

"Up until one point. Or at least, that's what I think. I'm not sure."

He continued, finally having the courage to go on. Phantom's heart raced, and she slowly rose her head to look at him. Her lips slightly parted. Soap was conflicted about his feelings. He began to feel something towards her, but it wasn't anything strong. At least, not yet. He wasn't sure if his 'crush' would develop into something more serious. In fact, he wasn't even sure if it was a crush. His mind was a complete mess.

"I've found someone like me. Somebody I've started to...feel something towards…"

Soap spoke again, awkwardly looking back and forth between her and the table. He didn't know how to go on. Phantom's heart raced, hoping she was the one he had in mind. But that was a stupid thought, something not fit for a soldier like her.

"Does the person know?"

She asked, trying to sound somewhat casual. He smiled and scratched the back of his neck.

"I'm trying to say it to her, but I don't even know myself. It's complicated."

He said and she still wasn't sure if it was her. Then again, where would he meet her? They were constantly out there in the field with little time to themselves. Maybe when he was on a leave before she joined the Task Force? For the first time, she found herself overthinking and she calmed her thoughts as much as possible. There was no point in taking wild guesses. She could only ask, that was she could be completely sure. As she previously thought, it was all so wrong.

"May I know who she is?"

She asked, her eyes gleaming with hope. Soap was almost certain she must have figured it out by now, and she was just playing around.

"A certain sniper with a phoenix tattoo. Looks dangerous."

He said, turning bright red. She noticed him blush and her heart raced. By the time he had said it, she had given up on trying to pretend she felt nothing towards him. He was eager to know if she returned his feelings. Her eyes lit up and she found herself lost for words.

"I...I'm being torn apart," he began, leaning towards her, "I feel something towards you, but it's not...it's not a strong feeling, it's just...it's still developing, you know what I mean?"

As he was talking in a low tone, almost in a whisper, he was leaning even closer to her across the table, and absentmindedly, she did the same. He didn't know how to express his emotions whatever they were any other way, and he was surprised he managed it at all. He was nervous and blushing, but he was glad pulled through. Phantom stared at him.

This amazing man, a great friend, an even better teammate and one hell of a soldier, actually harbored feelings towards her? She couldn't believe it. It was true they had a lot in common and they've already established that, which made them closer, but she never dreamed of anything like that. She used to think she was in love with him, but now that he mentioned his feelings weren't quite strong, but that there was something, she finally realized it was the same for her. It wasn't love. That word was too powerful.

This did put her in a terrible position, though. He was a Captain, and she a Sergeant. Had they already committed to each other, it would have been even worse. People would most likely accuse her of being with him just to rank up. She had never cared what people thought of her, but this was different. This time, she had to play it careful. The two of them weren't ready for such a big step, considering everything. It simply wasn't the time.

She broke from her thoughts, seeing anticipation all over his face.

"I feel the same."

Phantom finally responded, mustering enough courage to say it. She could never have guessed it would actually be that easy, and yet so hard at the same time. Her answer made him smile. He felt happy such a formidable, deadly and skilled sniper would reciprocate his feelings. Her words would repeat in his head for a while.

"So what do we do?"

She asked. Soap shrugged.

"I guess we just wait and continue. Wait and see if something more happens."

He suggested. It seemed like a good idea to her. She nodded in agreement.

"Sounds good."

As soon as she said it, she noticed, from the corner of her eye, Ghost and Roach approach the table. Soap and Phantom looked at the two as for some reason they didn't want to sit.

"Luckily, he didn't throw up," Ghost announced, still holding Roach by his shoulders, "but that doesn't mean he won't."

It seemed their night out would be cut short. Roach felt guilty about it, and kept apologizing. Soap saw no other choice but for them all to go home. He glanced at Ghost's drink, the bottle was half empty, and Phantom had already drank all of hers.

"We should leave."

Soap suggested, mainly for Roach's sake, who needed rest. The blonde man waved his hand, declining the suggestion.

"No, you stay and have fun, I'll...I'll just...I'm sorry, Captain."

Roach said, leaning onto his best mate Ghost. The trio didn't want to leave Roach all alone in a motel while they are here in the pub chatting like nothing happened. Soap told them to grab their jackets as he went to pay for the drinks and then they left. Roach was being dragged out of the bar by Ghost, who made sure he didn't fall off.

"There's my car."

Phantom said, pointing into the distance with her index finger. Soap told her he'd guide her to the nearest motel, and asked once more if she and Ghost were sure about staying there. The two replied they were, and so they took off to the motel. The ride wasn't long, and Roach still managed to somehow be himself, even if drunk. He apologized to Soap again and again, and the latter didn't know how to make him feel better. He reassured him it was alright, but Roach wasn't convinced. The trio reached the motel and checked in, and Phantom offered Soap a ride back home.

He thought about it for a while, and then finally decline, saying he wasn't far away from home anyway. She considered persisting in her suggestion, but then changed her mind. Giving him a warm smile, she thanked him for the drinks. Ghost did the same and they said goodbye to their Captain.

Phantom couldn't help but watch him leave until he became a small dot in the night. She reminisced about what they spoke about while Roach and Ghost were outside, but her train of thought was broken by Ghost, who told her to go to bed.

Even though she wasn't sleepy, she listened to him, knowing she had to get up early again in the morning for the journey home.


	15. Big Sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got one more short chapter before MW2 begins and things start to fall apart. Can't wait to publish those chapters, though.

**Chapter 15 – Big Sister**

_June 15th, 2014_

“Phantom!”

A voice called out to her, and she immediately looked towards the direction it came from. She spotted Roach waving at her from the distance, beckoning her to come closer. She was busy helping Toad fix a jeep, although she didn't understand much when it came to mechanical work she did it nonetheless, and Roach had caught her at the wrong time. Making a confused face, she shouted back at him, asking what he wanted.

“Just get over here, the Captain's calling you!”

Roach replied, slightly agitated at her. She told Toad she'd come back soon and stood up, walking towards Roach. He patted her shoulder when she came close. She shrugged, asking him why MacTavish needed her.

“He didn't say, he just told me to find you.”

She raised her eyebrows at his answer. That was quite unusual from the Captain, he was never that elusive or lazy to go find a person by himself. He was probably busy with other work. Nevertheless, she thanked Roach and headed towards MacTavish's office. She wondered why he had called for her, but was somehow glad he did. She wasn't much of a help to Toad anyway. After the conversation they had two months ago, they had to pretend it hadn't happened at all, but the situation between them was getting heated. Their feelings were still unresolved, still a mess and they were both still unsure, but _something_ was there. Something they couldn't explain. 'Chemistry' was possibly the best way to say it.

Shoving these thoughts out of her mind, Phantom knocked on the door. She was told by MacTavish to enter. Twisting the door knob, she peeked through the opening, looking inside. He was sitting at the desk, surrounded by papers. He glanced at her.

“You called for me?”

She asked.

“Yes, your sister is on the phone.”

He replied, pointing to the phone situated on his desk. Her mood was instantly lifted as she entered the room, closing the door behind her. She had to play it cool, not rush to the phone as she thought she would. Slowly walking over to the desk, he told her she was free to sit down. She sat on the chair opposite of him and picked up the phone. Her heart began to beat faster. She couldn't believe she finally got a call from her sister. She had never called her before. What was she going to say to her? How would she react?

“Hello?”

Phantom spoke into the phone, eagerly waiting for her dear sister to reply.

“Ada! Happy birthday, little sister!”

Cassandra cheerfully remarked. A wide smile appeared on Phantom's face. For the first time since she had joined the army, Cassandra called her for her birthday. The conflict between the sisters wasn't resolved just yet, but it seemed to Phantom they were finally getting to stable ground. Happiness overtook the sniper.

“Thank you, Cass! I'm so glad you rang!”

Phantom said, glancing at MacTavish, who was still checking the papers.

“Well, I thought it was time for me to do that. I'm not the best sister in the world, and I'm sorry for that. I should have rang sooner and more, or sent you a letter or anything.”

Cassandra's voice informed Phantom. She could detect regret and sorrow in her older sister's voice, and her smile dropped instantly. Truth be told, Phantom was often disappointed her sister never made contact with her when she was away, only when she was on a leave. But Cassandra was a busy woman, and Phantom found herself always forgiving her no matter what. She knew Cassandra cared and loved her, even if she couldn't express it, and she always hoped they'd be as close as they used to be.

When Cassandra was in the army, Phantom wanted to talk to her any chance she could, but her sentences were short and not much was even said. Phantom was different back in the day, and contacting Cassandra was harder. The younger sister had trouble expressing herself through letters, but sent them nonetheless. Cassandra rarely replied, if at all. That was when Phantom stopped trying to contact her.

Phantom shook her head, even though Cassandra couldn't see her.

“No, no, it's fine,” she paused. “I don't mind,” Phantom continued.

She lied, but Cassandra knew Phantom did mind it. If she knew something about her sister, it was that she was a horrible liar. Cassandra didn't say anything about it.

“How are you doing? Is everything alright?”

Cassandra asked.

“Yeah, it is. I'm fine. How are you? How's mom? How are Sergei and Jacob?” Phantom asked, listing one question after another.

“They are all doing fine, just like me. Jacob asked when you'd come see him. He said he had some things to show you.”

The two sisters exchanged. As soon as Phantom heard her nephew had asked about her, she smiled slightly. She told her sister she'd come visit her the next chance she got, promising her that.

“Alright then, I'm looking forward to seeing you again. Listen Ada, I'm truly sorry for all these years we haven't been in contact. I just want to talk to you in person and make up. Make things like they used to be, you know?“

Cassandra confessed. It was one of Phantom's biggest wishes to be close to her sister again.

“Yeah, we'll talk. We have a lot to say to each other, don't we?”

Phantom solemnly spoke into the phone.

“We do and one day we will. Take care of yourself, little sister, I have to go now.”

“Alright, Cass. Take care, too. Say hello to Sergei and Jacob for me.”

“Will do. Goodbye for now. Remember what I said.”

“Of course I will. Bye Cass, and thanks for calling.”

And then, Phantom heard Cassandra hang up the phone. After a few seconds, Phantom hung up as well, suddenly remembering she forgot to ask Cassandra how she managed to get the phone number at all. It didn't matter, she finally got to hear her voice again. Her birthday was nothing special to Phantom, but now she felt joy, even for a short while. Phantom was 28 years old, the same age as MacTavish. Each birthday, back in the day, Cassandra would call her 'old' and that she was becoming an 'old woman' every year.

She looked up at her Captain.

“I should go back now.”

“No, hold on, I need to show you something.”

Soap quickly spoke. She remained seated as MacTavish pulled out a folder from one of the paper stacks. Phantom looked at the file he was holding. It seemed familiar to her.

“Do you remember when we went to investigate the ammo cache in the Karakan Pine Forest in Russia?”

He asked her and she nodded. It happened a year ago, but it was pretty clear in her memory.

“Well, I've decided to look at the document more closely and it's a good thing I did.”

Soap told her as he opened the folder, pulling out one of the papers. Roach was the one who originally found the folder. At the time, they only saw it was signed by a man named Sergei L. and they thought nothing more of it. Soap handed the paper to her.

“See the empty space here?”

Soap pointed to the space next to the signature. She nodded.

“It's not empty at all. There's another signature there.”

He told her, but she saw nothing. She stared into the paper, trying to see if something was really there. At first, she thought maybe it was signed in really small letters, but that was not the case. The only other option was invisible ink.

“Invisible ink?”

She asked, looking up at Soap. He nodded.

“Aye. Take a look.”

MacTavish said and reached into one of the desk drawers and pulled out a small UV-lamp. He lit the paper with it, showing that indeed there was another signature. Interestingly, both names were signed in latin, not Russian cyrillic. She looked at the other name. The man's name was 'Yuri Nikoláevič'. Phantom struggled to pronounce his last name. Soap turned off the lamp and put it back into the drawer.

“Ghost found the lamp in the tool shed when I told him to go look for it if we had one. For a year, we couldn't spot this. We didn't even think of it.“

Soap told her, still a bit astonished with himself about the discovery.

“The names are written using the latin alphabet...why?”

Phantom asked, as it was odd to her they didn't use the cyrillic. Soap noticed it as well, but he didn't know why they used latin alphabet. He shrugged.

“Who do you think Yuri is?”

Soap asked her, wanting her opinion.

“I don't know. It could be Makarov's alias. Maybe his right hand man? I really can't say.”

Phantom replied, not sure who the person could be. Anything was possible, and with the lack of evidence about the man, jumping to conclusions was easy but not a good thing to do.

“We initially thought Sergei L. was Makarov,” Soap began, looking at Phantom, “now it could be this 'Yuri' as well.”

He finished.

“One of them has to be the right hand man. At least, that's what I think. But I don't know which one.”

Said the mystified Phantom. Soap agreed with her. She asked if there was anything else he needed her for, but he shook his head and told her she could leave if she wished. She thanked him and stood up, leaving rather fast. She was at the door when Soap told her to stop. She turned around slowly.

“Yes?”

She asked and was surprised to see him standing. He froze, and it seemed he wanted to say something to her, but no words came. He wasn't sure himself what to say, or why exactly he stopped her. Phantom patiently waited.

“Happy birthday.”

He finally spoke and she smiled a bit, thanking him. She asked if there was more, and he said there wasn't. Then, she turned back and exited the room. On her way back to Toad, she thought of her sister and the promise she made her. She wondered if she would be able to keep the promise, never knowing where the team would be sent next.


	16. Family Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm truly sorry this took so long, I was busy with college and I just catch a break. Next chapter should be the beginning of MW2, but due to the fact Article 13 and 11 passed, I'm not sure if I will be able to even continue the story. I hope it doesn't come to that.

**Chapter 16 – Family Matters**

_May 25th, 2016_

It was time for another break for the 'one-four-one', and Phantom was eager to see her sister. She expressed her concern regarding her to Roach, who told her she was simply nervous upon seeing Cassandra after such a long time. Phantom agreed with the statement, as it was probably the only explanation. She just hoped everything would go smoothly. Just as she was about to leave the base with Roach and Ghost, Soap came to view. He was also going home.

Swinging his duffel bag over his shoulder, Soap walked over to the trio. He reminded them of the time they had to come back to base, and they replied in unison they understood. Whatever happened between Soap and Phantom was completely unknown to the rest of the Task Force, and they preferred to keep it that way. In truth, nothing much had happened, but small conversations in the middle of the night. They still kept their distance, but since it had been two years since the so-called confession, they did grow closer to each other. It was hard for them, but they managed.

Phantom felt a spark rising inside her, a spark which hoped one day Soap and her would be an 'item', but that was a silly thing to think about. It was not fit for a soldier or a person like her. Phantom became more and more aware she was breaking her own moral code which she had maintained since she was in her early teenage years. It caused her great pain, but she contained it and kept it to herself. Her suffering was her own, and nobody else's.

Clearing her mind, she said her goodbyes to her comrades and went on her way, just to get away as quickly as possible.

* * *

Phantom was both excited and nervous, rendering her entire form motionless. She stood awkwardly in front of the door, unsure whether or not she should make her presence known. In all honesty, she had to make a decision soon, before somebody spotted her and started thinking all sorts of different things. She heard faint voices coming from inside the house, and it made everything even harder.

Why was she overthinking such a simple thing? She had never done such a thing before, and yet there she was. The infamous phone call from the previous year came rushing back and she remembered the promise she made her beloved sister. She remembered how she told Cassandra she'd visit as soon as possible, and that time had come. Perhaps she was nervous because she hadn't seen her sister in many years and wondered how she'd react.

_'Maybe she forgot about the deal?'_

Phantom wondered, but even she knew her sister rarely forgot things and that damned sixth sense of hers always seemed to warn her. It was as if she had some kind of an alarm in the back of her head, buzzing loudly whenever she'd have a bad feeling or expect something to happen. Cassandra once said it was a blessing and a curse.

Phantom, on the other hand, didn't have that 'gift'. Not that she ever wanted it either.

Taking a deep breath and clearing her mind, Phantom rang the doorbell, waiting for somebody to open the door. She could hear her little nephew calling out for his mother, informing her there was somebody at the door. Phantom chuckled. She loved that boy, he always made her feel better, especially with his childish ramblings and musings. She found that quite cute.

Having a family was a big responsibility, one that Phantom wasn't ready just yet. She made a plan; do your duty as a soldier and then start thinking about having children. Phantom would be a liar if she said she had never thought of having a family of her own. But of course, then she'd have to find somebody suitable to share that with. Once upon a time, she thought her ex and herself would last longer, maybe just enough for her to be that special someone.

And then, it all went wrong and Phantom was left heartbroken. Shaking her head, she refused to dwell on it anymore.

As if on cue, the door opened, revealing her dear sister, Cassandra.

Phantom's eyes found her sister's, and the two just stared at each other for a few seconds, before Cassandra smiled widely and crushed her younger sister into a tight embrace. She squeezed her as hard as she could, whispering;

"I missed you."

Phantom finally returned the hug and rested her head on Cassandra's shoulder, telling her she felt the same.

Just a few moments later, the curious Jacob came into view and spotted his aunt. He was holding a toy dragon in his hand and he looked at his aunt with a smile as she waved at him, still locked in Cassandra's tight hold. He waved back at her and patiently waited until she stepped into the house.

Cassandra broke the hug and ushered her sister to come inside. The very moment she did, her nephew walked over to her to greet her properly, proudly presenting his toy to her. Phantom crouched down to be at his level and chatted briefly with him, asking him how he was doing and complimenting his toy. He was much like Roach, an outspoken chatterbox, and she just drew the parallel between them. She never gave the similarity much thought, but then again, a lot of other children were like Jacob.

After a while, Sergei showed up, and the family proceeded to have lunch.

* * *

"Can I talk to you for a while?"

Cassandra asked her sister, who was washing the dishes. Phantom looked over her shoulder at Cassandra. The older sister had just finished wiping the table with a wet cloth, and she fumbled with it in her hands. Phantom figured she was nervous about something, even though Cassandra's gaze was fixed on her own.

"Sure."

Phantom agreed, turned off the sink and wiped her hands on a dishcloth. She discarded it onto the counter and turned around to face her sister, crossing her arms. Cassandra saw this as the perfect opportunity to not only catch up, but apologize for her actions. Both Sergei and Jacob have left the house, so if things went sour, they wouldn't be around for the drama.

The older sister gestured towards one of the chairs, offering it to Phantom. The latter eyed the seat, and walked to it, sitting down. Cassandra did the same.

She took a deep breath and exhaled, giving herself a bit of time to figure out what she was going to say. Or more precisely, where to begin. Phantom softened her expression, trying to ease Cassandra up.

"Listen, first of all, I wanna apologize for what I've done," Cassandra finally began, "I know I haven't been the best sister and I am truly sorry for that. I hope you can forgive me and understand."

She spoke slowly, and Phantom gave no indication to what she was thinking. Her soft expression turned neutral.

"I know what you think of me. And you're right," she continued, breaking eye contact with Phantom, "I am a terrible person for barely acknowledging you all these years."

"It's not your fault."

"Then whose is it?"

There was awkward silence between them for a while, before Phantom broke it.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

Phantom said. Whatever happened in the past, should stay there, but it was not always that simple. Not even Phantom could forgive or forget certain things, but for her sister, she'd make an exception. She had to, if she wanted to be as close to her as she once was.

"What about all those things regarding dad? That was not—"

"I said, forget it. It doesn't matter anymore."

Phantom cut off her sister. Just the mere mention of their deceased father made her angry. Cassandra knew she hit the nerve, and that was the one she was originally going for. They needed closure, and they needed to settle things once and for all. Phantom's neutral expression twisted, she became agitated. She was never quick to anger and was always patient, but their father was a topic that made her extremely furious at times. She managed to contain her fury for now.

Cassandra leaned against her seat, clenching her jaw. Phantom, in return, leaned in closer to her onto the table. The older sister shook her head. It was if Phantom dared her sister to continue and add fuel to the fire, which was exactly what she was going to do. But there was one more person she had to add to the mix.

"You still see our mother as some sort of a hero, don't you?"

Cassandra spoke in a low tone, and her statement took Phantom by surprise. The sniper backed away, straightening her back and leaning against the chair, gripping the edge of the table with one hand. She remained silent, but slowly began to fume. Cassandra noticed that. The thought of how many times Cassandra actually visited their mother and whether or not the latter lied about the former visiting her at all crossed Phantom's mind.

"She was the one who killed him! How can you still protect her?!"

The older sister demanded, almost yelling at her younger sister.

"You weren't there. You don't know."

"Then explain it to me!"

"I did. Many times."

"And you want me to believe you?!"

"Yes."

The two exchanged. Even after all these years, Cassandra was still sensitive about her father's death. It greatly affected her, as it did Phantom. It morphed her younger sister into some bitter, angry and silent girl, and those traits continued to follow her all throughout her life. For some time, Cassandra couldn't believe what her sister became, and partly blamed her for their father's demise, and always denied the truth. But she finally stopped blaming Phantom and turned to their mother.

Cassandra sighed, and Phantom remained as she was.

"You refused to see truth for so many years, Cassandra. It's finally time you change that."

"I did Adrasteia! And I'm trying to make things right!"

At the mention of her original name, Phantom cringed. She loathed her birth name, and changed it once she turned 18. That was the best day of her life, she felt liberated. The name was like a weight, constantly pulling her down and reminding her of the past. Her current name, although similar to her original one, was still far better. At least, to her.

"Don't call me that."

"Why not? Our father gave you that name, don't you remember?"

"Like he gave me this?"

Phantom replied, tracing the scar on her left cheek with her index finger. Cassandra silently cursed and sighed once more. She suddenly remembered when she saw Phantom with that nasty scar for the first time and how she found out their father was the cause of it.

Cassandra gave up all hostility. There was no point in it anymore. No more fighting, no more mentioning the past. No more blaming their mother or anything else. It's been far too long and she was tired. They both were.

"I'm sorry, Ada. I'm truly sorry. I can only say it so many times."

She tried apologizing again, but the truth was, Phantom forgave her a long time ago. The sniper cooled off, and she was not seconds away from lashing out or trying to attack her sister anymore. The whole situation was chaotic, just like the mess in their heads.

Phantom, despite forgiving her sister, was no saint either. Her anger and bitterness was ever-present, but she refused to lash out or lose patience. She still held herself in high honor, but probably not as much as before. She had changed and so did Cassandra.

The ex soldier leaned in and reached for her sister's hand. Phantom didn't flinch or withdrew hers. Cassandra's cold hand squeezed Phantom's warm one, and the younger sister suddenly smiled.

"You always had cold hands, Cass."

She spoke, looking at her older sister with a much softer expression. Phantom remembered how many times they used to play when she was a child and Cassandra would grab her arm with her hands, and Phantom would almost jump to the ceiling from the sudden chilling sensation. She didn't exactly mind it, though.

That one brief touch seemed to have improved the situation, and even teleport Phantom back to the distant past, even for a short while. Snapping out of it as soon as she heard her sister's chuckle, Phantom gazed at her. She wanted it all to stop. All those bad things to simply vanish and pretend they never happened between them.

Cassandra slowly withdrew her hand.

"Let's stop this once and for all. Let's be as we used to be."

She suggested. Phantom smiled warmly.

"I'd love that."

The sniper whispered. If Cassandra was somebody else, Phantom would never have forgiven her.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you something! It's quite important."

Cassandra spoke and Phantom nudged her to continue.

"Sergei and I are going to Russia this summer. We're gonna visit his parents."

"That sounds nice. You will take Jake with you?"

"Yes, of course. But something troubles me."

The sisters exchanged, and there was an uncomfortably long pause before Cassandra continued. Phantom remained silent, but interested.

"This might sound silly, but you know how I always have this sort of, ah, premonition about something? Well, not a premonition, but just a feeling of some kind. I can't really explain it."

The older sister asked nervously. In response, Phantom nodded. Cassandra did have this sort of 'gift' and 'an alarm' which seemed to warn her about certain events or in some cases, people. It was most likely a highly prominent intuition, but Cassandra would beg to differ.

"We were thinking of going in August, but you know how Russia is these days. Or the world in general," she spoke and scratched her neck, „I don't think it's a good idea but Sergei really wants to go. He says if we don't go now, who knows when the next opportunity will be."

Cassandra finished. She crossed her hands and sighed. That 'alarm' kept telling her not to go, but at the same time she wanted to. She wanted to see Russia.

"Maybe you should leave Jacob with mom. Maybe that would give you a peace of mind."

Phantom suggested. It would be wrong to do such a thing, to rob Jacob of a chance to see his grandparents, but Cassandra's 'voice' rarely made mistakes. She wanted to see her son safe and sound, and Phantom's idea seemed good enough. Cassandra nodded. Even though Cassandra wasn't on very good terms with her mother, she was the only one who could take care of Jacob in her absence. She had a lot of apologizing and explaining to do before she could even ask her mother to shelter Jacob.

"Yes, but how will I explain that to Sergei, to Jake?"

To that question, Phantom had no answer. She shrugged.

"I'm sorry, I really don't know. Maybe you could talk him into waiting a bit. Maybe next year or so."

That scenario was highly unlikely. Once Sergei has his mind on something, he doesn't let go. Cassandra knew that.

"He won't hear of that. But Jake should definitely stay. I know it's not right, I'm just worried."

The older sister spoke, gently shaking her head.

"It's just...I feel something horrible might happen...and I'm not being paranoid, you know that. I feel, for the lack of a better word, a storm."

Cassandra explained.

"A storm?"

Phantom repeated, visibly confused.

"Yeah...I don't know how to explain it."

The ex soldier said in a grave tone.

"What would you do in my place, Ada?"

"I don't know. Has your intuition ever failed you? Were you ever wrong?"

"Yeah, maybe, I can't remember."

"I'm not the one to decide, you should talk it over with Sergei."

The two sisters spoke, and finally, Cassandra nodded, taking in Phantom's words. They remained seated, frozen in place, and in silence. Needless to say, Phantom was worried about her sister and her family. Phantom got lost in her thoughts, hoping whatever Cassandra was fearing, would never take place, or at least, it wouldn't be very serious.


End file.
